farewell february.

until next year.

i'd say it was a good month. [aside from being sick and having my dad in the hospital twice.] i did some thinking about my future, and even took some steps towards making things happen. there is still a lot up in there air, and i have some big decisions coming up, but i made some progress this february, which feels good.

i'm happy that we get to extend it by an extra day this year. i think there's just something inherently magical about the month of february, *especially* in a leap year. so happy leap day. :]

i realized today that a new sewing machine = excuse to buy a pincushion.
i know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but i think pincushions are seriously adorable. something so domestic and old fashioned about them that i just love. i've resisted from buying one on way more than one occasion. now that i get to buy one, i'm having a hard time deciding.

so. i'm on the hunt for the perfect pincushion.
i'm not much of an online shopper, but i like to browse etsy. i'm thinking it might be time to jump in a make a purchase. here are some options:
such a funny idea.
this one is adorable, is it not?
another cute idea.
or maybe i'm just feeling hungry right now.
look at this little dude!
and of course there is the practical one that is good on the needles.

i also wanted to post a video because i just realized how long it's been. i'm fairly certain you've probably heard this one, but i still think it's worth posting. enjoy!

motivation check.

i have a paper due tomorrow for evolutionary bio... it's supposed to be 10 pages about this phylogenetic mapping that we did in class. it honestly won't be that hard to write because i know all the material pretty well from working in the old lab. it's all about microsatellite markers and whatnot. but i'm just absolutely dreading writing it. i can't make myself get started.
last night, liz, mark & i went to the library to work on it, but after like an hour we got sidetracked and needless to say, i haven't started the writing process. so i planned to just stay up all night tonight and get it done, but then i realized that it's not due until 5:00pm tomorrow. ut oh. now i *really* don't have the motivation to work on it. it still would be nice to get it all done tonight, but i'm not so sure it's going to happen.

bottom line: finding the motivation to get basically anything done this semester is a real struggle. i keep thinking of all these fun craft projects that i want to work on, or about movies that i want to go see, or about taking a long photo adventure walk with helix, and especially about making a trip to the city. but i can't do any of those things because i am too busy with school and lab. grr.

well. i guess i just wanted to get that out. hoping it would help me find the motivation somehow. i suppose the first step is opening the new blank word document... off i go.

i hope everyone had a fabulous week. here's to a happy friday! :]

"especially with your phenotype."

i was talking to rubi and liz in my lab today about the possibility of becoming a teacher and being taken seriously. liz was saying it would be a struggle for us because we are so young. it seems like it could be hard to get students to respect you when you are what... 5 years older than them? and then rubi goes "especially with your phenotype... you are petite and cute..." we all had to start laughing because that's when you really know you are a scientist. so liz said that next time we go out somewhere she is going to find a cute boy and tell him that she likes his phenotype. :] i suppose it would be a good way to quickly screen a potential date. i mean... if he gets that comment, he's probably a keeper. ha

in other news... i managed to get my group photo yesterday. :]
it was a good/bad day for snow boarding.
the exam was beyond awful, so it was a crummy start to the day, but the weather was basically ideal.
we got a late start up to the mountain, but it wasn't busy at all so there were no lines.
and i was doing super well, but i fell on my head.
yes. i landed on my head. [you are allowed to laugh, it's funny now that i'm ok.] i was just getting confident when my board caught on something & i just felt my head smack the ground. *luckily* i was wearing my helmet. for a moment, i thought the helmet had cracked & i had broken my neck. i laid there for a minute unable to move. finally, i felt my helmet & realized it was fine. then i was able to slowly turn my neck & realize it was also fine. yay. so i laid there for about 3 minutes crying & then i realized that no one was going to come along and help me, so i had to just get up & finish. so i did. which made me even more proud because i didn't chicken out or give up. i'm actually really excited to go again.
i can't really move today, but i expected that. my neck is also super sore & i can't really turn my head. but i know i got a good workout yesterday.
liz did really well too. i don't think i'll have too many problems convincing her to go again. mike & james had fun together. james made mike go on the steep side. mike said it was super scary, but i think it's really cool that he tried it.
radhika didn't fare so well. i think she's decided that she wants to stick to skiing. i have to admit, sometimes it's tempting to go back to skiing, but i know james just wouldn't allow that. ha.

oh yes. i was also wondering if "zwitter" would be an acceptable baby name. [NO! i am not having a baby ANYTIME soon!] i haven't run it passed james yet, but i think the consensus is already no. you see... when i was studying for the horrid exam, i was procrastinating by reading about things in the book that weren't all that important, but were more interesting at the time. so i knew was a zwitterion was and everything, but i did not know that zwitter is german for hybrid. how cool! this sent me off into wonderland thinking about the potential cuteness of naming a baby zwitter... obviously because if james and i do end up having kids one day [in the distant future] they will be little hybrids. :] i think that i've resorted to the idea of simply calling our kids zwitter-kims [or simply zwitters for short] instead of tormenting them with a name like zwitter. anyway. i guess now i know why i didn't do so well on the exam. ha.

ok. i'm off to bed. i have to wake up early for molecular biophys grad seminar. i seriously hope he doesn't have those exams graded. i don't need to face that embarrassment just yet.

goals.

a few short-term goals that need to be written down so i can keep track of them:

1. read through *all* of my notes before i fall asleep tonight.
2. read through *all* of the handouts before the exam at 11am.
3. make my own stamps soon.
4. take more than 2 runs tomorrow at mt. rose.
5. design my cyp4g27 real time primers by the end of the week.
6. make a mini &/or a layout by the end of the week.
7. figure out spring break plans.
8. take a group photo tomorrow during the post-molecular biophys exam snowboarding trip.
9. unpack my sewing machine.

ok. anxiety has been ridiculously high since i woke up saturday morning. i am no where near prepared for this exam. grr. hopefully james will still love me when i fail. :]

snow & study.

i can't believe it's been snowing again the past few days.
well. i take that back. i can believe it, i just don't really like it.
when i started warming up and everyone was excited, i remember thinking that it wouldn't last... and it sure didn't last very long at all. but i'm wearing short sleeves today in protest. ha. i'm already sick, so i figure it won't hurt too much.

since it's overcast and there is "no sky", today would have been the prefect day to shoot photos for my photo project that i did last year in photography. it was sort of strange, but for some reason i kept seeing all these compositions and shots that would have been great with my final portfolio as i was walking and driving today. i guess it's a sign that i'm missing photography.
i'm still keeping up with the daily photos, but i have to admit, the last few have been pretty lame. i haven't uploaded them yet, probably because i'm not all that excited about them. i think it's well past time for me to start using the d80 and the other "fun" cameras to make some more interesting shots. i just feel like school is so busy & i'm so exhausted from having the flu that i don't have time to go shoot. maybe next weekend though. i have lots of deadlines next week, so a photo celebration would be a good plan for next weekend.

this weekend is going to be full of studying. grr. i don't even know where to start. our professor gave us a study guide today for the exam on monday. it's 17 pages long. there is no detail or anything in those 17 pages... just an outline of bullet points of all the things we are supposed to know. i'm actually on my way to school now for study group numero uno. so wish me luck.

oh and i picked my sewing machine up today. :] super excited about that, but i have no idea when i'll have time to set it up and play with it. maybe i'll throw that into the plan for next weekend too. when i told james i picked it up, instead of making a joke or making fun of me, he said "cool. now you can fix my jacket." ha. kind of sweet i thought.

happy friday. :]

i thought i found a cure.

i'm so sick of getting the stomach flu. ugh.
i woke up at 7:00 this morning with it once again.
this makes 2 times in 2 months. not cool.
plus i had an exam today. my professor doesn't offer make up exams, so i got off the bathroom floor around 11:15 and slowly made the drive to school. i still don't know how i made it through that test. i sat by the door for good measure, but i made it though and afterwards, i was feeling surprisingly better. silly me... i thought i had found the cure to the flu.
when i got home i decided to take a chance on some gatorade, since i hadn't yet kept any fluids down. that turned out to be a big mistake. :/
about half an hour ago, i finally tried some chicken broth because i was feeling way beyond hungry. i just finished off one cup, so hopefully i am on the mend.

as far as my exam, it remains to be seen if i was thinking clearly. i can only hope.

tomorrow i have a busy day, including a presentation at noon. i'm crossing my fingers that i wake up feeling renewed.

in other [better] news, my sewing machine arrived today. i'm not sure when i'll be able to pick it up, but it brought a little cheer to my day for sure.

ok. off to try doing some homework.

especially hilarious.

chelsea lately tonight. yes. it's especially hilarious. probably because i should be studying for my organic spectroscopy exam tomorrow, but that's besides the point right now.
margaret cho just did an impression of her mom. so funny. sometimes james will impersonate his dad, and it's seriously one of the funniest things ever. i love it. i wish i could do funny impressions of my parents.

i also took a little trip down memory lane tonight during a phone call. it was such a crack up to think back on some of the old times. memory lane is bittersweet, wouldn't you say?

mmm kay. i'm off to take my daily photo, make some tea, and re-learn all the stereochemistry stuff that i've forgotten, but *need* to know by tomorrow.

still don't have my evolution exam grade back. grr. i really want to know how i did!
maybe it's better that i don't know because if i did well on it [like i hope i did], i would be less motivated to study for this exam due to already having that sense of accomplishment you get from a good exam grade. you know? but who am i kidding, i'm not motivated to study anyway. ha.

applications.

last night i sent off my tfa application. i don't know how i feel about it, but a small part of me is excited about the possibility.
[i guess it goes back to that theme of unknowns for 2008. i have no idea where i'll be this summer, let alone next fall. i could still be here, or i could be somewhere new.]
i was pretty happy after i clicked submit and got in my car last night to go somewhere and celebrate. i do believe i had a smile on my face. again, not because i am so sure it's what i want to do... just because i feel like i took a step towards doing something, which is a nice feeling.
[put a little damper on things when i made a u-turn half way up the street and drove back home because i realized that i didn't have anywhere to go or anyone to celebrate with me. instead i just texted genea because she applied too. ha.]
so now it's just a matter of waiting. and if i actually get accepted, then i'll have a big decision to make.

i have one more application to turn in by the end of the month... the lead fiskateer application. pretty much the dream job of dream jobs. especially at this point in my life. crossing my fingers big time for that one. i'm so stinking excited about that possibility.

otherwise, i'm still thinking about applying for a job somewhere in the industry. ideally, in the bay area, but not too likely. i could also stick around here for a while and work in my current lab. i really like that environment, so it wouldn't be so bad to stay here for a bit.

well i'm off to walk the little he-man. james went snowboarding with his friends today, so i'm hanging out with the pup-dog. he's sleeping on the couch right now and looks so cute. of course i left my camera at home. :/

happy stinkentine's day.

yep. that's what the card says. i think it's pretty stinking cute. & & stinkentine's is somewhat fitting for today.

my dad had to go into the hospital again today for his heart. :/ he is at home right now and doing ok. i just went in his room to ask something, and he is cuddled up with the blankets and watching tarzan on the disney channel. it was pretty cute, but melted my heart at the same time.

& my mom was supposed to come over for dinner tonight, but she is sick. so our little plan for dinner was pretty much a bust.

plus. another school shooting today. ugh. so sad.
i don't know how national the news is, but we had a girl from our school go missing almost a month ago. they are still trying to find her & the man that abducted her. they have dna evidence from the scene were she was kidnapped from that matches a rape case from a few months prior. but they can't find the guy. it's pretty scary. i mean... school is *supposed* to be a place where you can feel safe, but with all the recent happenings, it's just not the way things are anymore.

on a better note, i think my exam in evolution this morning went pretty well. james had an exam too. his was in anatomy, and he already knows that he got a 92. i'm so proud of him. he had an exam yesterday that he was studying for all week, so he only studied one night for anatomy. smarty pants, i tell ya.

well. i'm off to write a few essays for my tfa application. i've been debating about whether or not to apply, but i'm thinking i'll just give it a shot and see what happens. then i need to add the photo to the valentines book for james and finish it up so i can give it to him. :]

here's to the long weekend... i can hardly wait.

eek.

so much on the to-do list.

i updated the daily photos. i haven't posted for today yet, but the first 11 days of the month are up if you want to take a look.

i'm off to get some laundry going and read. as long as i don't fall asleep again. ha.

time for a nap.

yes. i got 8 hours of sleep last night & i still feel like taking a nap today.

i wanted to share a few things before nap time.

first is my take on ali's weekend creative book from a couple weekends ago.
i'm actually going to give this one away too. :] [generally when i make gifts, i end up too attached & i keep them.] i just took the photos in Photo Booth, so you have to think in terms of mirror images for the book, but you can at least get the idea. i used black felt for the cover [vs. ali's red] and kept it super simple because i think james will like it better that way. i also sewed all of the pages [vs. ali's adhesive method] because i ran out of cardstock [and by ran out, i mean i messed up the printing a few times and *then* didn't have enough cardstock] so i made the pages double sided & improvised by sewing them all in. my sewing technique left the pages a little bit crooked, so i just trimmed the edges with a mini scallop edge, which also made it a little more fun. now i just have to add some journaling & maybe a few photos & it will be ready for valentines day. we agreed not to celebrate valentines day this year because we both have exams and too much else going on, but i think this will be a nice little surprise. :]

next is a layout i made a few weeks ago, but haven't had time [and by time, i mean daylight] to get a photo to post. the photo is from my san antonio trip when i met heidi grace. naturally, i used all heidi grace products on the page. i really just let the products do the work for me... if that makes sense. i love that about her lines, they are so easy to put together into pages. seriously, this page took no more than 20 minutes to put together, which is a very rare thing for me.

ok. i'm off to either:
a) get some laundry going.
b) go to best buy to get a new flash drive.
c) take a nap.
d) study.

[can you tell what frame of mind i'm in? yes. exam mode is setting in.]

tired.

i can't get enough sleep lately. i really hope i'm not getting sick because i have my exams coming up and lots of other work to get done by friday.

it was a long week of school with one piece of good news... my organic spectroscopy exam that was supposed to be this tuesday was postponed for one week. that is seriously lucky because i can definitely use the extra week to prepare. my professor caught on to the fact that we were all a little too stressed and actually did something to fix it. how cool. :]

work today much busier than i expected. my bosses are at cha, so there were no classes or anything, but still lots of customers. i guess that's what i get for expecting a mellow day. it sure did go by quickly though.

yesterday my mom & i went to pick out my sewing machine. we decided this would be a good one for the things i want to do with it. plus it was pretty much the cutest sewing machine i've ever seen. ha. oh and the store has some really cool amy butler fabrics and patterns. so maybe i'll actually start making some projects with the fabric i keep randomly buying. ha.

oh and tonight i cooked without james' help! ha. it was the first time in a while. it was a pretty simple and quick meal of spaghetti & tortellini, but my dad and james both said it was good. i need to make it a habit. & & yes. i keep saying that, but one day it really will happen. :]

i guess that's about all for now. nothing too exciting to talk about and i'm thinking about heading to bed.
i hope everyone had a fabulous weekend.

p.s. today when i was buying bread at the store, one of the packages said it contained 6 rolls. i only counted 5. i triple-checked my math. i moved on to anther brand feeling pretty creeped out.
seriously.
where did that 6th roll go?

thanks. :]

thanks for the birthday wishes girls. :]

i had a good day. unfortunately, it was my day to be randomly called upon in biophys and i was totally zoned out when he asked the question, but i made it through somehow. [in other words... james told me what to say. ha.] liz told me i should probably stop by the lab before we went to lunch, and i was surprised by a cute card and an amazing cake made by sharon [our "lab mom"] when i got there. then james, liz & i went to lunch at the sup, one of our favorite little lunch places. after getting some work done in the lab, i planned a little dinner at olive garden. i couldn't decide where i wanted to eat, but that's always a good option. so mom, james, liz, erin, radhika, & i had a nice little dinner. after dinner, james had to go take helix out, and erin had some homework, so liz, radhika & i had some tea and met up with jordan, who works in my lab, to see juno again.

so yeah. it was pretty much a perfect day. the only thing that would have made it better is if my dad didn't have to work and my sister could have come for a visit. but all things considered, it was a nice day.

oh. my mom & dad gave me a sewing machine! well. i'm going to the little bernina store with my mom sometime this week to pick it out, but she picked up the brochure and wrapped it up for me. so cute. :]

also some other updates:

i forgot to mention that my dad had to be cardioverted again last week. it seems to happen a lot around my birthday. :/ but he's doing fine now, and we're just hoping this time it will last. it had only been six weeks since the last time, so that was a little frustrating, especially to my dad.

my grandma told me that my grandpa had started participating in a drug trial for his prostate cancer. so for the first 6 months he may or may not be receiving the treatment (1 in 3 patients will have a placebo) and after the initial 6 months if things look promising, then everyone can have the treatment. the alternative was more chemo, and he wasn't feeling up for that. i am really hopeful about this for him. luckily, he is still in pretty good health considering his cancer has metastasized, but i really hope this drug will have a good outcome.

"this is the life."

that's what my dad said last night while we were having gelato & crepes & talking about the trip.

it was such a fun trip. so hard to be back and thinking about going to school tomorrow. [even worse thinking that next weekend will be spent preparing for my first exams. how is it time for those already? eek.]

our plane was delayed going to vegas, and it wasn't one of the best flights i've been on. the flight attendants were all having an off day apparently. after boarding the plane maybe an hour late, we had to then sit on the plane waiting to take off for quite a while because of flow problems at the vegas airport. & they didn't even give us a drink or a bag of peanuts. ha. well. at least we made it. [funny thing, my dad drove and got there the same time as us. go figure.]

so, that night my mom told my dad he should book himself a haircut while we were checking in with vip. i said something along the lines of "yes. we should both get haircuts tomorrow." and the next thing i knew, i was debating about actually getting an appointment. of course by then it was already past 11 pm, so i had to wait for them to call me in the morning to see if an appointment was available. i was so hesitant to actually do it. but they called, and with some encouragement from james, i said yes to an 11 am appointment. eek. so finally, after over 2 years i actually got my haircut. :]
i think i really like it too. it might be a little too layered for me, but she styled it in a kind of new way, that i want to try to replicate. she used about 15 round brushes sort of like curlers as she was blow drying my hair. she just took small sections and dried them with the brush, then wound my hair in the brush and let it rest tucked up to my head. so by the end i had a head full of brushes. it was so weird. & at first i was thinking, "this lady is crazy... this is never going to work on my hair." i think she saw the look on my face because she said "you've never done this before have you?" ha. that would be a no. but now i might have to find some round brushes in bulk so that i can try it on my own. :] [i took the photo in the bathroom mirror while we were walking over to the forum shops. everyone was giving me funny looks. i wanted to say "i swear it's not for myspace, i just don't want to go up to the room to take a photo of my new haircut."]

other highlights:

we did a little shopping after my haircut. which included james buying my birthday present. a vitamin water spilled in the bottom of my bag on thursday, so my wallet [along with notebooks and textbooks] pretty much got ruined. i've been wanting a new wallet for a while now, and i'm in love with the one he picked. yes. we were looking around in the store and he spotted the winner. :] i should have taken my own photo, but it's this one in black. and i have to say, it's way better in person.

mom & i went to amanda's baby shower on saturday too. we didn't really play any games or anything, but presents and good food. poor amanda has been sick lately with a cough. last time she had a cough around the holidays, she broke a rib from coughing too hard/much, so that's been really painful for her again. :/ my brother had to help her open some of the presents, but she was still a trooper.

we had dinner with my brother at noodles. it was a semi-birthday dinner. i ate too much rice. ha.

we went over to the miracle mile shops. i love the urban there, but i didn't find anything i couldn't live without. ah well. maybe next time.

today, we had an early lunch with paul & amanda and her mom & grandma. at lucille's. of course. so good. and james was very proud of getting the star on his sucker wrapper. ha. :]

after lunch, james went with me to anthropologie, but again, i didn't find anything i couldn't live without. i did find a lot of stuff i loved though. just wasn't really in the mood to try things on.

then it was time for the superbowl party. i definitely underestimated it. there was so much good food there. it was just way beyond what i had expected. i think james & i would be interested in going next year. :]

we had to finish watching the game at the airport because we were supposed to catch a flight at 6:15. when we arrived at the airport, we discovered that our flight was delayed until 8:50. ugh. so we were able to get on a different flight that had been delayed until 6:30, so it was still there. well. that flight got delayed again. so i think we finally took off around 8:00. it was a much better flight though. the attendants were super nice and friendly, which always makes flights better for some reason. i guess the delays weren't so bad because it allowed james to see the end of the game before we had to board. ha. he was pretty happy with the turnout, and i have to say... it was pretty exciting in the last few minutes.

so yeah. it was definitely a fun weekend. it's kind of like living in a dreamworld. especially with all the gelato and crepes. it's probably better for my health that i don't partake in eating either of those too often though. ha.

ok. off to bed. i guess since it's past midnight that means it's my birthday now! i really don't want to go back to school in the morning, but tomorrow should be a pretty fun day. :]

the daily photo thing.

i added the link to my daily photo blog to the links along the side. the first month of photos is now up. i'm trying to upload the photos every week or so just to keep up with it.

i'm happy that i've been keeping up with this goal. it's getting fun too. i haven't started using the d80, the lomo, the mini polaroid, or the holga yet, but it's still fun to play around with compositions on the point and shoot. it's also fun to play with the flash. sometimes you can cover the flash a bit and get a pretty cool red tint on the photo.

oh and none of them are photoshopped. because in case you didn't read in one of the previous posts... i'm totally afraid of photoshop. ha. i color adjusted one of the photos in iPhoto this month, and i made a note of in the the post. otherwise... what you see it what i captured. :]

ok. off to bed now. and off to vegas tomorrow night! it's been a long week, so i'm really excited to have a little get away. plus birthday shopping in vegas will be pretty fabulous. happy february. :] it's one of my favorite months... i wonder why? ha.