farewell february.

until next year.

i'd say it was a good month. [aside from being sick and having my dad in the hospital twice.] i did some thinking about my future, and even took some steps towards making things happen. there is still a lot up in there air, and i have some big decisions coming up, but i made some progress this february, which feels good.

i'm happy that we get to extend it by an extra day this year. i think there's just something inherently magical about the month of february, *especially* in a leap year. so happy leap day. :]

i realized today that a new sewing machine = excuse to buy a pincushion.
i know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but i think pincushions are seriously adorable. something so domestic and old fashioned about them that i just love. i've resisted from buying one on way more than one occasion. now that i get to buy one, i'm having a hard time deciding.

so. i'm on the hunt for the perfect pincushion.
i'm not much of an online shopper, but i like to browse etsy. i'm thinking it might be time to jump in a make a purchase. here are some options:
such a funny idea.
this one is adorable, is it not?
another cute idea.
or maybe i'm just feeling hungry right now.
look at this little dude!
and of course there is the practical one that is good on the needles.

i also wanted to post a video because i just realized how long it's been. i'm fairly certain you've probably heard this one, but i still think it's worth posting. enjoy!

motivation check.

i have a paper due tomorrow for evolutionary bio... it's supposed to be 10 pages about this phylogenetic mapping that we did in class. it honestly won't be that hard to write because i know all the material pretty well from working in the old lab. it's all about microsatellite markers and whatnot. but i'm just absolutely dreading writing it. i can't make myself get started.
last night, liz, mark & i went to the library to work on it, but after like an hour we got sidetracked and needless to say, i haven't started the writing process. so i planned to just stay up all night tonight and get it done, but then i realized that it's not due until 5:00pm tomorrow. ut oh. now i *really* don't have the motivation to work on it. it still would be nice to get it all done tonight, but i'm not so sure it's going to happen.

bottom line: finding the motivation to get basically anything done this semester is a real struggle. i keep thinking of all these fun craft projects that i want to work on, or about movies that i want to go see, or about taking a long photo adventure walk with helix, and especially about making a trip to the city. but i can't do any of those things because i am too busy with school and lab. grr.

well. i guess i just wanted to get that out. hoping it would help me find the motivation somehow. i suppose the first step is opening the new blank word document... off i go.

i hope everyone had a fabulous week. here's to a happy friday! :]

"especially with your phenotype."

i was talking to rubi and liz in my lab today about the possibility of becoming a teacher and being taken seriously. liz was saying it would be a struggle for us because we are so young. it seems like it could be hard to get students to respect you when you are what... 5 years older than them? and then rubi goes "especially with your phenotype... you are petite and cute..." we all had to start laughing because that's when you really know you are a scientist. so liz said that next time we go out somewhere she is going to find a cute boy and tell him that she likes his phenotype. :] i suppose it would be a good way to quickly screen a potential date. i mean... if he gets that comment, he's probably a keeper. ha

in other news... i managed to get my group photo yesterday. :]
it was a good/bad day for snow boarding.
the exam was beyond awful, so it was a crummy start to the day, but the weather was basically ideal.
we got a late start up to the mountain, but it wasn't busy at all so there were no lines.
and i was doing super well, but i fell on my head.
yes. i landed on my head. [you are allowed to laugh, it's funny now that i'm ok.] i was just getting confident when my board caught on something & i just felt my head smack the ground. *luckily* i was wearing my helmet. for a moment, i thought the helmet had cracked & i had broken my neck. i laid there for a minute unable to move. finally, i felt my helmet & realized it was fine. then i was able to slowly turn my neck & realize it was also fine. yay. so i laid there for about 3 minutes crying & then i realized that no one was going to come along and help me, so i had to just get up & finish. so i did. which made me even more proud because i didn't chicken out or give up. i'm actually really excited to go again.
i can't really move today, but i expected that. my neck is also super sore & i can't really turn my head. but i know i got a good workout yesterday.
liz did really well too. i don't think i'll have too many problems convincing her to go again. mike & james had fun together. james made mike go on the steep side. mike said it was super scary, but i think it's really cool that he tried it.
radhika didn't fare so well. i think she's decided that she wants to stick to skiing. i have to admit, sometimes it's tempting to go back to skiing, but i know james just wouldn't allow that. ha.

oh yes. i was also wondering if "zwitter" would be an acceptable baby name. [NO! i am not having a baby ANYTIME soon!] i haven't run it passed james yet, but i think the consensus is already no. you see... when i was studying for the horrid exam, i was procrastinating by reading about things in the book that weren't all that important, but were more interesting at the time. so i knew was a zwitterion was and everything, but i did not know that zwitter is german for hybrid. how cool! this sent me off into wonderland thinking about the potential cuteness of naming a baby zwitter... obviously because if james and i do end up having kids one day [in the distant future] they will be little hybrids. :] i think that i've resorted to the idea of simply calling our kids zwitter-kims [or simply zwitters for short] instead of tormenting them with a name like zwitter. anyway. i guess now i know why i didn't do so well on the exam. ha.

ok. i'm off to bed. i have to wake up early for molecular biophys grad seminar. i seriously hope he doesn't have those exams graded. i don't need to face that embarrassment just yet.

goals.

a few short-term goals that need to be written down so i can keep track of them:

1. read through *all* of my notes before i fall asleep tonight.
2. read through *all* of the handouts before the exam at 11am.
3. make my own stamps soon.
4. take more than 2 runs tomorrow at mt. rose.
5. design my cyp4g27 real time primers by the end of the week.
6. make a mini &/or a layout by the end of the week.
7. figure out spring break plans.
8. take a group photo tomorrow during the post-molecular biophys exam snowboarding trip.
9. unpack my sewing machine.

ok. anxiety has been ridiculously high since i woke up saturday morning. i am no where near prepared for this exam. grr. hopefully james will still love me when i fail. :]

snow & study.

i can't believe it's been snowing again the past few days.
well. i take that back. i can believe it, i just don't really like it.
when i started warming up and everyone was excited, i remember thinking that it wouldn't last... and it sure didn't last very long at all. but i'm wearing short sleeves today in protest. ha. i'm already sick, so i figure it won't hurt too much.

since it's overcast and there is "no sky", today would have been the prefect day to shoot photos for my photo project that i did last year in photography. it was sort of strange, but for some reason i kept seeing all these compositions and shots that would have been great with my final portfolio as i was walking and driving today. i guess it's a sign that i'm missing photography.
i'm still keeping up with the daily photos, but i have to admit, the last few have been pretty lame. i haven't uploaded them yet, probably because i'm not all that excited about them. i think it's well past time for me to start using the d80 and the other "fun" cameras to make some more interesting shots. i just feel like school is so busy & i'm so exhausted from having the flu that i don't have time to go shoot. maybe next weekend though. i have lots of deadlines next week, so a photo celebration would be a good plan for next weekend.

this weekend is going to be full of studying. grr. i don't even know where to start. our professor gave us a study guide today for the exam on monday. it's 17 pages long. there is no detail or anything in those 17 pages... just an outline of bullet points of all the things we are supposed to know. i'm actually on my way to school now for study group numero uno. so wish me luck.

oh and i picked my sewing machine up today. :] super excited about that, but i have no idea when i'll have time to set it up and play with it. maybe i'll throw that into the plan for next weekend too. when i told james i picked it up, instead of making a joke or making fun of me, he said "cool. now you can fix my jacket." ha. kind of sweet i thought.

happy friday. :]

i thought i found a cure.

i'm so sick of getting the stomach flu. ugh.
i woke up at 7:00 this morning with it once again.
this makes 2 times in 2 months. not cool.
plus i had an exam today. my professor doesn't offer make up exams, so i got off the bathroom floor around 11:15 and slowly made the drive to school. i still don't know how i made it through that test. i sat by the door for good measure, but i made it though and afterwards, i was feeling surprisingly better. silly me... i thought i had found the cure to the flu.
when i got home i decided to take a chance on some gatorade, since i hadn't yet kept any fluids down. that turned out to be a big mistake. :/
about half an hour ago, i finally tried some chicken broth because i was feeling way beyond hungry. i just finished off one cup, so hopefully i am on the mend.

as far as my exam, it remains to be seen if i was thinking clearly. i can only hope.

tomorrow i have a busy day, including a presentation at noon. i'm crossing my fingers that i wake up feeling renewed.

in other [better] news, my sewing machine arrived today. i'm not sure when i'll be able to pick it up, but it brought a little cheer to my day for sure.

ok. off to try doing some homework.

especially hilarious.

chelsea lately tonight. yes. it's especially hilarious. probably because i should be studying for my organic spectroscopy exam tomorrow, but that's besides the point right now.
margaret cho just did an impression of her mom. so funny. sometimes james will impersonate his dad, and it's seriously one of the funniest things ever. i love it. i wish i could do funny impressions of my parents.

i also took a little trip down memory lane tonight during a phone call. it was such a crack up to think back on some of the old times. memory lane is bittersweet, wouldn't you say?

mmm kay. i'm off to take my daily photo, make some tea, and re-learn all the stereochemistry stuff that i've forgotten, but *need* to know by tomorrow.

still don't have my evolution exam grade back. grr. i really want to know how i did!
maybe it's better that i don't know because if i did well on it [like i hope i did], i would be less motivated to study for this exam due to already having that sense of accomplishment you get from a good exam grade. you know? but who am i kidding, i'm not motivated to study anyway. ha.

applications.

last night i sent off my tfa application. i don't know how i feel about it, but a small part of me is excited about the possibility.
[i guess it goes back to that theme of unknowns for 2008. i have no idea where i'll be this summer, let alone next fall. i could still be here, or i could be somewhere new.]
i was pretty happy after i clicked submit and got in my car last night to go somewhere and celebrate. i do believe i had a smile on my face. again, not because i am so sure it's what i want to do... just because i feel like i took a step towards doing something, which is a nice feeling.
[put a little damper on things when i made a u-turn half way up the street and drove back home because i realized that i didn't have anywhere to go or anyone to celebrate with me. instead i just texted genea because she applied too. ha.]
so now it's just a matter of waiting. and if i actually get accepted, then i'll have a big decision to make.

i have one more application to turn in by the end of the month... the lead fiskateer application. pretty much the dream job of dream jobs. especially at this point in my life. crossing my fingers big time for that one. i'm so stinking excited about that possibility.

otherwise, i'm still thinking about applying for a job somewhere in the industry. ideally, in the bay area, but not too likely. i could also stick around here for a while and work in my current lab. i really like that environment, so it wouldn't be so bad to stay here for a bit.

well i'm off to walk the little he-man. james went snowboarding with his friends today, so i'm hanging out with the pup-dog. he's sleeping on the couch right now and looks so cute. of course i left my camera at home. :/