lush review two.

there is a lush right across from the apple store in emeryville, so i've had ample opportunities to stop in there during the past few weeks. the first time, i bought two bath bombs [butterball and keep it fluffy, which is the purple one below] and got samples of two different hair products. the second time, i got summer pudding soap, a sample of karma kreme, and the ickle baby bot bath bomb. it's [obviously] the one shaped like a little robot. i've been resisting it forever, but i finally broke down and bought it. i haven't tried everything yet, but i have tried a few items, and i think i have some older reviews to post as well.

i first tried the butterball bath bomb. [not pictured. oops!] i've always heard good things about it, but i am not really a fan of this one. it's supposed to be very moisturizing, which i guess is what you could call it. while it felt pretty nice during the bath, it left my skin feeling funny afterwards. it left a waxy residue that was no bueno. it also left a residue all around my bathtub, which i am not a fan of either. so i don't think i will buy this one again, unless i am in need of a seriously moisturizing bath, which won't happen while i am still living in the bay. my skin is so different here compared to nevada. i don't have to use nearly as much lotion anymore.

anyway. the hair product samples that i tried were interesting. first was curly wurly shampoo. it smells like coconut and even has little chunks of coconut in it. i let my hair air dry afterwards to see if it really worked any magic with my curls. sadly, it did not. my hair was actually less curly than usual. so i don't think i would buy this as a curly hair product. i also tried the coolaulin conditioner. the sales lady said that this would be better as a leave in product, or something to smooth out my curls. i used a small amount of it after i got out of the shower, but i had to wash it out because i did not like the smell. so again, i'm afraid this was not a winner in my book. i have heard really good things about lush hair products, but sadly, i have never had much luck with them. i guess i will have to do some more research and try some other options.

i am happy that i finally bought a lush soap because now i don't have to take a bath to use lush. :] i really like the summer pudding soap. yay! a happy review. :] i cut off a small chunk to take into the shower so that my whole piece wouldn't melt away before i could use all of it. based on my research, this is the best way to use their soaps. i enjoyed the smell, and was happy to find that it wasn't too overpowering. it smells a little bit fruity, but in a good way, a little bit almond-y, a little bit vanilla-y/spicy. i don't know how to really describe it. there are ground almonds in the soap to exfoliate the skin, but it's pretty gentle, which was good because i tend to have sensitive skin. i will probably try a different soap next time, but i will get this one again eventually. oh and i don't use it everyday. i'm probably going to use it once a week or so because i don't need to exfoliate that often.

the karma kreme lotion is so so. i prefer the helping hands lotion because it has less of an oily finish on my skin, and the smell is a little more subtle. the karma kreme is supposed to contain lush's signature scent according to the sales guy. it has a little bit of a citrus/pine smell, which is nice, but i don't really like the patchouli part too much.

a while ago, i tried what i think is the floating island bath melt. i still have half of it left, so i will be able to refresh my memory about it one of these days, but i remember that i really liked it. it left my skin feeling moisturized, but not waxy like the butterball.

i've also been using the comforter bubble bar (in fact, i used it last night) and i still really like it. it makes the water super pink, which is fun, and i've been using maybe 1/6 of the bar and getting so many bubbles! my skin feels nice and soft today, which makes this product a winner in my book.

i guess that is all i have for right now, but i'll do another review once i've tried more products. :]

disillusioned.

block exams are coming up monday-thursday, and i'm lacking the motivation to study for them. so today, i bought myself a watch as a reward to start studying. yep. a reward to start studying. talk about one of the biggest disillusions ever. yikes.

i don't feel like i have very much to update about, but i guess i have more than just a new watch to discuss.

i am still struggling with my adjustment. i get lonely multiple times a day. i miss my friends, family, james, and old classmates. i feel tired a lot. i don't feel like studying ever. i doubt myself and my decision to come here everyday. but everyday it's also getting a little tiny bit better, so i'm sure over time i will fully adjust.

school is not hard, but i have not kept up with it. now that it's time for block exams, i am feeling really overwhelmed with the amount material i need to review.

i finally got to go home last weekend, but i didn't get to enjoy it as much as i had hoped because my group had to give a book report on tuesday. the "book report" consisted of a written summary, a 30 minute presentation/skit, and a quiz to give to the class after the presentation. although i made a point to tell my group that i would be leaving on friday, they decided to meet on friday to discuss everything. i was beyond angry when i found this out, but there was nothing i could do about it. i also made the mistake of volunteering the fact that i am a pretty decent writer. so during their meeting, they decided that i should be responsible for writing the whole summary. and hey, why not make me write the quiz too. the best part was that they didn't tell me. i didn't find out until i asked someone how the meeting went. grr. on monday, i left reno early so that i could make it to the second group meeting where i expected that the presentation and skit would be ready to run through. wrong. no one was prepared. i started throwing out ideas about what should be done and said, and the two "narrators" asked me to write everything down for them. ahhhh. moral of the story: i don't like group projects. especially when i don't get to choose my group members. on tuesday, i was expecting the worst, but thankfully, the presentation was not as much of a disaster as i had anticipated.

oh. our book was written in 1925 and not available at any nearby public library or the school library. we bought a copy on amazon and had to take a photo of every page [it was over 300 pages long] then turn it into a pdf. i'm so glad that little adventure is over. and i have granted myself a vacation from responsibility of future group assignments. the next few are going to have to be someone else's responsibility. [easier said than done, i know.]

on friday, before i found out that i was responsible for the basically the whole book report project, i went to a bbq with james and got to see some of our friends.
i just think the next photo is funny.
sadly, that was the only time the whole weekend that i got to see them. but i also made time to enjoy the rib festival with james and my parents a little bit. so yummy!
aussom aussie ribs are always my favorite.
we ventured out this year and tried some different vendors. we found that texas thunder was pretty good too.
on monday, james and my dad brought ribs home for us. they both decided to try the beef ribs... which apparently have meat the size of a small steak on each rib. crazy!

oh. i forgot to mention that the week before last week, i started having computer problems. well. the hinge on my laptop broke. i took it to the apple store and found out that they could fix it, but needed to order the part. the nearest apple store is right by the bay bridge, so i went and met thu and jason in s.f. for the evening. we didn't do a whole lot because they were just exploring pier 39 when i got there. but after they left, i drove up to coit tower.i really enjoyed it. it was the first time i've made my way up there, and i am definitely going back soon. i was afraid to actually go up into the tower because it was dark, and i was by myself. so i am looking forward to that. the views in the little parking area are great too though.

last week, i got to take my laptop to be fixed, which meant that i was without a laptop while i was in reno and supposed to be working on the book report. i decided to get a new one because i am super dependent on having a computer now for school. i went with the macbook pro, and i love it so far. :] i got the repaired macbook air back this tuesday, so now i have it as a backup, which is good because i get really stressed out when technology doesn't work for me! i am not good at troubleshooting. ha.

what else... oh. today was james' last day of work in reno. woot! he is going to be in reno next week, and then move down here after i am done with block exams. i'm so happy that he will be here soon to keep me company and help me cook [hahahaha. and by that, i mean cook for me.] and go for walks with me, and visit cool places, and keep me on track with school stuff. he is still trying to sort out the job situation here, but he has a couple of leads, so hopefully something will pan out quickly.

this has been a pretty random update. i guess it's time for me to get back to studying. bummer.

eta: i just realized that i have not blogged in a long time. so coming soon: an august update and a lush review! :]

wise words.

have you seen the taylor swift cards at target? i had to use some serious restraint to prevent myself from buying all of them. :]

bbbs event.

aside from getting a nice sunburn in the traditional farmer's tan pattern, i enjoyed the big brothers big sisters event that was hosted by the pharmacy students at my school on sunday. i volunteered to work the spin art station or macaroni art station, and i was assigned to spin art with thu. sadly, the turnout wasn't that great... we had over 100 pharmacy students hosting the event for about 20 kids. ha. that meant that thu and i got to do a little experimenting with the spin art machine. it was semi-dangerous because it didn't have a cover or a good way to secure the paper into the spinner... so occasionally the paper would fly out of the machine. one little girl got pretty scared by it, but not scared enough to prevent her from requesting to do it again. :]

because of the low turnout, it was almost like a pharmacy social instead of community service. a few of our friends came to hang out at the spin art station because their own stations had plenty of workers and no participants.

on the left of the next photo is amy ngo, who is a second year student, and on the right is amy ng, who is a first year and also happens to be in my small group. it's always fun meeting other amys... and since i am terrible at remembering names, it helps with that too. :]

amy ngo was working at the macaroni art station, and she brought this little masterpiece to me. haha.

anyway. that was basically the rest of my weekend. i'm glad that i was able to get out and socialize a bit... even if i am suffering from a sunburn now. ha.

my first quiz is tomorrow in our biological science track. all of the information so far has been so simple that i have zero motivation to look it over, but i suppose i should make some effort. i hope you all enjoyed the weekend!

alone time.

this is the first weekend i have spent alone here, and it's feeling strange. i went to target twice just to kill some time. ha. i am so glad that target is only about 10 minutes away. today, i took care of some last bits of cleaning that i've been putting off, and waited around for the washer and dryer to finally be delivered. the only problem is that the wrong power cord was ordered for the dryer, so i still can't do laundry! it's pretty annoying. so i decided to get more cupcakes and check out the outlet mall in napa tonight. it's a smaller outlet mall, but i like it. the size makes it totally manageable to explore in one evening, and it has most of the stores that interest me.

school is moving along... but i am not really keeping up with it. eeek. the thing is, it has been all review for me so far, so i have a tendency to drift off during lectures. i should just pay more attention so that i don't have to review it on my own time, but that is easier said than done. some of my classmates like to ask a lot of questions. i mean a lot. way more than necessary, and usually pretty irrelevant. very annoying. it's not that i am opposed to questions, i just feel like sometimes the question sessions get really out of hand, and it has been causing all of the professors to run out of time and not finish their lectures.

i have also identified one professor who i do not like. she is the only person so far who seems like she does not really want us to succeed. just the manner in which she talks to us, the material she presents, and the way she teaches are all unfortunate. luckily, we don't have her very often. all of the other professors so far are pretty great or at least good. :]

last friday james, sarah, and howie came to visit for the weekend and mike and tiffany joined us on saturday. it was so nice having familiar faces around.

friday night, we had dinner at what has come to be one of my favorite local spots. it's an asian place called princess garden. they have a mongolian bbq option, or you can order dishes off the menu. i've done both, and been satisfied each time.

after dinner, we headed to berkeley to see what it was like. it turns out... it's not that cool. definitely worth the extra little drive to go into the city. a classmate had mentioned this one pool hall/bar that we checked out, which was actually pretty cool. but it's probably the only cool spot in berkeley because it was completely packed. the wait for a pool table was over an hour. we eventually found this small pub that was pretty calm, so we just hung out there for a bit.

on saturday morning, i slept in and james took howie and sarah to a breakfast place that thu told me about called momo's. james said it was the best huevos rancheros he's had. :]

that afternoon, we headed to san francisco. our first stop was at this pork place howie wanted to find. it's actually in this cool market in the ferry building. i will definitely go back there. they have a cheese place that is really amazing, a bread place with delicious rolls, a patisserie with the best chocolate shortbread cookies i've ever had, and lots of other cool little specialty shops.next, we headed over to the haight. james wanted to find some shoes, but howie and sarah ended up finding shoes instead. haha. go figure. as we were walking back to the car, we passed a hat shop that was having a party. it was pretty silly. howie and sarah each found hats they liked though, so i guess it was worth the stop. after that, we went over to north beach to meet mike and tiffany at the stinking rose. i've eaten there several times because it's semi-famous, so everyone always wants to try it. honestly, i am not a big fan. i feel like there are much better places anywhere along columbus street, but sarah really wanted to eat there thanks to the hype. so we did. hopefully next time, i can convince them to eat somewhere else. ha. after dinner, we did some bar hopping, and stumbled on this super packed dance party.it was pretty fun. i think everyone managed to have a good time that night. :]

the next morning, i suggested another spot for breakfast called the red onion. i had eaten there on thursday with thu, jason, will, and his fiance after our trip to get cupcakes [which was a success]. i noticed they served breakfast, so i made a mental note to come back and try it. i think everyone was pretty happy with the food. i got a little too full considering the next item on the agenda was to head to six flags and ride roller coasters. i'm glad that sarah wanted to take this photo too. i hate being the only one bothering people for a group shot. plus, during a class trip in 6th grade we took a photo on this whale, so i think it's fitting to have another one. :]
after two rides, i called it quits and went to look at animals with sarah who wasn't super into the rides either. usually, i am more of a trooper, but not that day. it all worked out though... i think everyone got to do what they wanted to do and ultimately enjoyed the day.
i had just eaten frozen strawberry lemonade that was soooo good, so my lips are a little extra red here, but this is probably my favorite photo of james and me in a long time. we were getting bored watching the killer whale show. i think the whale was having a bad day because the announcer kept telling us to watch for something, and nothing would happen. ha.
the dolphins were a little more into their performance though. it was nice to sit in the shade for a bit during these shows too. it was really warm, and i felt a little silly because i told everyone to make sure they had a sweater because it's been chilly here lately. it was seriously the first warm day since i moved here. go figure.

i was pretty sad for everyone to leave. it hits me kind of hard sometimes, and that night was one of them. the adjustment to being here alone is taking longer than i thought, and it's also harder than i anticipated. james is working out his plans to move here hopefully next month, so i am really looking forward to that. i have made some good friends through school, but i can't rely on them to keep me company all the time. haha.

i guess that is all for now. tomorrow my school is hosting a big event for big brothers big sisters, so i will be staying busy most of the day. :]

new scraps.

it looks like i'm still having problems with the colors in my photos appearing muted when i upload them. so just know that these are a little more vibrant in person. :]

i decided to bring just a small amount of scrapbook stuff with me when i moved in case i got bored and/or needed a break from cleaning and unpacking. these two pages are the result of that. both were made with the july studio calico kit, continental.
i believe these are photos from my phone... i printed them a while ago, but i could not figure out how to make them work on a layout. i finally decided that they looked good with the bright yellow paper. :] i added that kraft maya road envelope from my stash. i love those envelopes! it's a pretty simple layout, but it came together quickly, so i decided to just go with it.
the title and journaling are about how much i love [and still crave] the shave ice from hawaii, and how [and why] i think waiola makes the best shave ice, to the disagreement of many people. i'm not 100% satisfied with the embellishments on the layout, but i was trying to stick with what was in the kit for the most part. the blue paper is actually the backside of a promo card that they sent with the kit because i really felt like i needed a pop of blue. even if this isn't my favorite page from an visual stance, i still like the story... so it's a keeper.
i'm pretty sure made this layout the first night i was here. :] i had those photos semi-stuck together in that arrangement, but again, i was having a hard time finding just the right paper to go with them. i think the girls' paperie blue plaid paper is perfect! it's actually a paper that i would normally not buy or choose for myself, so i'm glad it was in the kit.
this layout came together pretty quickly as well. and i don't think i added anything to the kit, which is kind of neat.

that's all i have for now... and it might be all i have for a while. who knows. :]

i'm really tired, so i'm going to try to get to bed soon, but i thought i should do a quick update about school. it's going well so far. i think i might like it. haha. so far, it's been predominately review, but i'm rusty on the chem stuff, so it's beneficial for me. i like most of the professors i've encountered so far. actually, the professor who has been teaching the chemistry track is super fun, so he's making me not hate chemistry as much as usual. the ethics and law professor seems like he might not be a favorite, but we'll see. i've heard he is nice outside of class.

we're having presentations from professional organizations everyday at lunch, which means i pretty much stay in the same seat from 9-4 each day. when i get home, the last thing i want to do is more school work, but i'm trying to get over that and be more productive. i've also been cooking each night, which is a nice little break. so far, i haven't made anything ground breaking, but thanks to james i discovered that i like tilapia, which is nice and easy to prepare.

last night the power went out for four hours, which was not fun. i had a little meltdown when it came back on because the alarm system would not stop beeping. but i figured it out eventually. i think it was just an unfriendly reminder that i'm pretty much on my own here. but i know it will get better as i adjust.

this week i've also discovered where the post office, the ferry building, and the farmer's market are located, which i'm sure will be useful at some point. tomorrow, i have plans to go get cupcakes with a few friends from school at kara's cupcakes in napa after we're done with class. i took a detour last time i went home to try the cupcakes after seeing the bakery featured on the food network's cupcake wars.the sticky figgy banana cupcake was actually the flavor that she made up on the show, and it was only available until the end of july... i went on july 30th and there was one left, so i had to get it. i also decided to get the peanut butter chocolate.

they were seriously amazing! very moist and the frosting was actually edible. i usually don't end up eating much of the frosting because it gets too sweet, but this frosting was delicious. i'm super excited to head back for more.

ok. that's all for now. i really will get some pictures of the island and the condo posted eventually. :]

"this is my reality."

i keep saying that at random times. like when i'm driving over the bridge to get to my condo. or walking the dog along my street. it's crazy!

i guess i have some catching up to do.

my dad helped me move on thursday the 29th, and i promptly went home to reno on friday night... even though i was sort of supposed to stay and get settled. :]

there was just something about being here alone that i wasn't ready for, and i needed to get some things that i'd left behind.

i realize this is not how normal people pack, but it inevitably seems to be my packing style when i move. and it actually worked out well for moving things to the upstairs condo since i have very little upper body strength. ha.
this is evidence that my dad was the one who went shopping with me, not my mom. :] more on this later.

i got back to the condo really late on sunday night because i hit some traffic. i'm realizing that traffic is going to just have to be expected if i want to go home. the three hour drive can easily take six or more hours... especially on friday evening when everyone from the bay is trying to go to tahoe. annoying.

anyway. my orientation started on monday the 2nd.

the first day we had breakfast and some introductions to faculty members, then we took care of some paperwork and met our small group members and advisors. our class of 108 people is broken down into groups of 11 or 12 people with one faculty advisor per group, and we have breakout sessions during lectures and certain group assignments to do in our assigned groups. during lunch, each group had to choose a name and make rules to present to everyone. my group settled on "the touro-nados" for our group name. [in case you didn't know, my school is called touro university. so it's like tornado mixed with the school's name.] one guy even came up with a slogan for us: we're going to blow you away... academically. ha. ha. ha. :] another proposed name was the T-Rxs [like t-rex, but substituting Rx to be nice and nerdy.] i liked that name, but one of our group rules is "this is a democracy", so touro-nados won by a matter of votes. our faculty advisor seems like a nice man. i didn't get to talk with him very much because he was at the other end of the table... so i couldn't really hear him. his background is in biochemistry, and i heard that he has a research lab on campus, so i'm excited about the possibility of doing some lab work with him.

following the group meeting, we finished up more paperwork, got our photos taken for student id cards [my photo is not good, but not horrible.] and then we had a computer session to learn how most things work on campus.

while i waited for my id, another first year and i were talking to a second year guy. he was really nice and gave us a feel for what to expect. the other first year turned out to be a super nice girl named thu [pronounced like the number two]. during the computer session, i met her boyfriend, jason, who is also a first year. it's like the happy ending version of james and me. anyway. they are from san jose and are both really friendly. they showed me around vallejo on monday night and we ate thai food at a local restaurant... not surprising based on that photo of the fridge, right?

on tuesday, we had five hours of cpr training, which was way longer than necessary if you ask me. for lunch, we had a bbq, then we had student introductions. we gathered in the first year classroom, and each person had to say their name, where they were from, and answer a random question then draw a name and announce the next person. that part could get tricky with some of the names, but i think i did ok on that part. the random questions were different for each person. one boy said "give me a hard one" and instead he got an embarrassing one... "do you fold or scrunch your toilet paper?" some were easy like "love or money?" and some were typical like "what fruit/animal/car would you be?" mine was "if we opened your refrigerator, what would we find?" the funny part is, i had taken the above photo a few days earlier. :] i feel like i got off easy, but i also didn't really tell anything about myself in answering the question. oh well.

in case you haven't noticed... i completely failed to take photos during orientation. the first day i forgot my camera, and the second day i just didn't think about it. :/

on wednesday, the second years held a pot luck for the first years. it was at a house here on the island, which happened to be the house of the second year that thu and i talked to during the photo process. i went by for a little while and mingled a bit. for some reason, i just wasn't feeling super social.
it was nilay's birthday. he is a fellow member of the touro-nados, and you can see him directly to the left of the guy who is pointing.
this is thu, jason, and my second year student mentor named rafael. he's really nice, and i'm glad that he was at the party, so i could get to know him a little better. :]
in the very left of this photo is will, who is also a touro-nado. jason is next to him, then diem, and i wish i could remember the rest of the names... oops. this also shows my horrific frizzed out hair. maybe if i wear it like that enough, people will donate to the "i desperately need to have my hair professionally straightened" fund. :]

late that night, james and helix came! i was super happy to see them. of course it makes me sad that james isn't able to move here already, but he has to stay in reno at least for a little while longer. i think part of that might be due to the current softball season. haha. he's on three teams right now, so he stays busy with softball. but he seriously loves it.

we tackled lots of projects around the condo... he sealed the garage floors, helped me with some more cleaning [i feel like it's never ending! i keep thinking i've cleaned all of the cabinets, but then i realize that there are some in a different place that i haven't done yet. ugh. luckily, i don't have enough stuff to need all of them right now. haha.] and then we made a trip to the emergency room. :[

james was trying to separate some of the hot glued stuff that was left here as part of the model furnishings. it was making me nervous, so i told him to be extra careful or just stop. he decided to put on an oven mitt to protect his hand in case anything broke... i told him that was great, but if anything broke it might hit me. so he decided to move outside to the balcony. shortly after, he walked in saying "babe. i think i need stitches." i thought he was kidding because i didn't see any blood and he seemed fine. but i should have been a little more cautious in observing him because i looked right at the problem area by accident. ugh. if you've ever dissected something in anatomy lab, then you know what i saw. it was like once you cut through all the layers of skin... you get to the "meat". i even saw one of his veins, which luckily wasn't cut. there was no blood at that point, but i went into complete panic mode running around getting shoes, keys, his money clip, phones, and then running out to ask my neighbor how to get to the hospital. it did start bleeding eventually, which grossed me out even more.

after a short wait, the ER doctor said he definitely needed some stitches and a tetanus shot. he watched the whole thing! i hid my face and tried my best to maintain some type of composure. after a few questions where james downplayed the severity of his injury [for example: doctor: does it hurt? james: no. doctor: did it bleed a lot? james: no. not really.] she said "ok. i think i'm getting your personality." i thought it was so funny. he really summed himself up within that short visit quite well.

as for the tetanus shot, i forced myself to watch the nurse administer it, after being reminded repeatedly during orientation that one of our activities will be giving flu shots in community clinics. i really need to start conquering my fear of needles. and as a small victory for me, james got a little reminder that shots really do make your arm sore. he had told me that i was a big baby about my shots a few weeks ago, but that night and the following day he commented on how sore his arm was from the shot. he mentioned that a couple times, but never said that his stitches hurt. he's been sticking to his story that he never felt any pain from the cut.

friday entailed more cleaning and painting the furniture from the master bedroom. neither of us liked it much beforehand, but after a simple coat of black paint, we both like it quite a bit. i'll post some photos eventually.

yesterday, we made a trip to sacramento to go to ikea for dishes and drapes. i also found the fabric section that i was beginning to believe was an urban legend. now i'm wondering how i missed it all these times? there is some seriously good stuff in that section. definitely looking forward to going back there for more eventually.

we also decided to fulfill james ever-present craving for korean bbq. we went to oz korean bbq in sacramento, and it was really good. i actually liked it better than the korean bbq we had in hawaii, although it was pretty similar.
oz had amazing bul gogi, which is my dish of choice. we went for the all you can eat, but pretty much got full off of the first round of meat. on the way back, james said he was thinking about who he could go there with to take full advantage of the all you can eat bbq. haha. he also saw a lady he knew from his childhood working there, which was pretty random. it was so funny seeing them recognize each other and figure out that they actually knew each other. i guess she was of his mom's close friend. i couldn't follow much of the conversation after that, but she did tell me that i'm beautiful. :] and i think she might have asked james if we're getting married. haha.

anyway. it's amazing what a difference new drapes, some paint, and a little rearranging made towards making this place feel like home for me. i'm happy to be nearly settled in now, but i'm sad that james and helix went back to reno tonight. he'll be back next weekend and i think that howie and sarah are coming too, so i'm just looking forward to that for now. well. i guess i also have my first day of school to look forward to as well. :]

i'll be back with more soon. i have a couple scrapbook layouts to share, and i'll try to take some photos of the condo as well. ok. off to bed i go!

it just hit me.

i just got really sad about moving. it's been building up today.

for some reason, i kept thinking that today was my last day in reno, but really i have one more day. i'm leaving at 8am thursday morning, and at this point, i don't know when i will be home again.

i went to watch james play softball tonight, and on the way to the game we talked about how i'm feeling and that's when the first rush of sadness hit me. but i brushed it off and talked about how i'm scared to start school instead.

but tonight, i was sitting by myself after everyone had gone to bed and sadness rushed over me. i'm growing up. holy smokes. i'm really growning up.

there's much to be excited about. like making my condo feel like a home. and trying cupcakes from kara's cupcakery. and visiting the ocean on a whim. and having visitors. and meeting new people.

i've been doing a good job of focusing on those things and blocking out the other feelings.

until now.