february = fabulous.

looking at my calendar, it doesn't look like it will be too fabulous with block exams in less than a week + ippe on my birthday + no annual trip to vegas for the superbowl/my birthday... but... i am still determined to make february feel fabulous. after all, it all starts with determination, right? but it's my favorite month. i'm turning 25! and while i still don't know what i've gotten myself into with my decision to go to pharmacy school, i do know that i'm on a path to a career, which is reassuring after struggling with a period of feeling stagnant and not knowing what path was ahead for me.

here's a photo of some pre-birthday cupcakes that i picked up in napa over the weekend. james went golfing with his new bestie, bryan, who is the boyfriend of my fellow nevadan classmate, greta. so she and i met for dinner, which just so happened to be near the cupcake place. obviously i had to treat myself before heading home. :]

and here is a peek at a layout that i made over the weekend for a challenge at studio calico. it was a "style swap" challenge, so i went for a minimalist look. i love making these pages. they come together so fast, and generally i am happy with how they turn out. maybe with my limited time for scrapbooking, i should consider a more permanent style swap and stick with the simple lines and a minimalist look? hmm... something to consider. i mean... it's definitely better than the alternative, which is not scrapping at all.

p.s. i'm blogging during class, and my friend yenh just walked through on a tour after her residency interview. i really hope she gets the residency here because it will be nice to have more friends from home nearby!

p.s.s. i broke down and joined twitter today too. i'm @amybythebay. i still have very little idea of what half of the stuff means... there are so many abbreviations! i need to look for a short tutorial or something. ha.

keeping my head up.

i haven't gotten any official word, but i'm pretty sure that i did not get the internship because two of my friends have found out that they got it, and there were only four spots available.

i'm not going to lie... i am frustrated. i went into the interview with low expectations and tried not to get my hopes up too high. but at the end of the interview, the two ladies who were my interviewers said i did well and passed onto the next round. they said there would be another round of interviews and this was just an initial screening interview. so i was really hoping to hear something... i mean, at least for a follow up interview. i wasn't expecting to hear people talking about how they got the positions!

it's not just this though... my classmates are so competitive, and it's just wearing me out so quickly. it's to the point where i suspect some people are looking out for themselves to the point where they don't want the rest of us to succeed. i really dislike being in an environment like this. there is no point! hurting other people to improve your own chances at success is just so sad.

anyway. i'm trying to remind myself that all i can do is my try my best and work my hardest. hopefully, eventually, something good will happen. i can't lose too much more sleep over this anyway because block exams are quickly approaching!

here's a silly song to tie in with this theme. i watched the movie "easy a" last night with some girl friends while james had poker night for the boys. this song is from that movie, and it's pretty funny.

music for monday

i have been relying on james for new music these days. it's just so convenient. but today, i thought i would share my own pick here. there's no video to go along with it, but i just think it's a really pretty song.

i have been home for the long weekend, which was nice. i rested and tried to get back in good health... i'm not sure that i'm completely healthy, but i do feel a little better. i tried to meet with a few people to catch up, but the only plan that panned out was breakfast with yenh at the old granite st. eatery, which is delicious by the way. i'm really glad that i got to see her. she's in her last year of pharmacy school... so we were able to talk about doubt, frustrations, fears, etc. that come along with this path. and yeah... there weren't many positive things said about it. ha! oh well.

today i have to head back to the bay. i'm excited to see james and helix because they stayed there this weekend... but i'm not excited to get back to reality. i looked over my calendar last night and nearly had a panic attack. two quizzes this week, mtm training, volunteering at the student run health clinic, internship interview... suffice to say i can't wait for next weekend! i pretty much live for the weekends, which is bad because i tend to take mini vacations during the weekend when i should be staying focused on school. ack.

speaking of reality... it's time to pack up my stuff. ugh.

[last] weekend in review.

the previous weekend was a busy one. we had quite a few guests staying with us because unr played in the kraft fight hunger bowl in s.f., but james and i also went to my school's winter gala.

on friday, the boys went to play golf and sarah and i headed up to napa where we got cupcakes [obviously] and went shopping at the outlet mall. mostly though, we just relaxed and caught up with each other. i've really been missing having nearby girl friends lately. i do have my school friends, but it's different. anyway. the boys came to meet us for dinner, so we found this little hole in the wall chinese restaurant via yelp that was delicious! people in the bay seem to use yelp quite a bit... so we've jumped on the bandwagon. it's pretty useful actually... especially for indecisive people like me. ha.

saturday, i still wasn't feeling well, so i stayed home for most of the day. the boys went riding in the morning, and once james' brother and his friends arrived everyone went to a brewery in petaluma called lagunitas. i have to say... i'm glad i didn't go. i enjoyed resting and taking my time getting ready for the gala. i'm still having a lot of pain from my rib, so it took me quite a while to flat iron my hair. ha!

howie and sarah came to dinner at a thai restaurant with james and me, and the rest of the group wanted to watch a motocross race at a bar... the only problem is that james and i don't know of any good/safe bars in vallejo. so they ended up at applebees. haha. [later at the gala, one of my friends mentioned that he and his fiance went to applebees before the gala. i told him that our friends went there too, and he said, "i was wondering why they were playing motocross!" i thought it was pretty funny.]

i really wanted to get a cute photo of this little thai bike thing that is outside the restaurant, but it was wet inside, so no one wanted to sit in it. my camera wasn't happy with the humidity either, but oh well...
james and i only planned to stay at the gala for about an hour, but we ended up staying for around three hours. oops! there was dancing, professional photos [just like prom] and a casino area, where you could learn different games with no risk of losing money. james taught me how to play craps, and i think it's pretty fun. i had a little trouble throwing the dice all the way to end of the table though. haha. there was also a "photobooth" where they had all kinds of props and then you took some photos on a computer. plus, we got to see friends outside of school. all in all, it was more fun than either of us anticipated.
my dress actually blended in almost perfectly with the background for the professional photos... it was hilarious.

on sunday, we headed into the city for the game. we got there early to do some activities before meeting up with everyone to tailgate. james' brother's friend was adamant about getting clam chowder, so we went to the wharf first, then stopped by the pier for a minute because his brother's other friend had never been to san francisco before... so he wanted to see a few touristy things.
there weren't many sea lions out, but there were a few. they really are silly animals to watch.

we went to the height next because james and i wanted to look for some shoes and the boys just wanted to watch a football game at a bar. have i ever mentioned on here that i really don't understand the point of spending time in a bar when you are in a new city? ughhh. oh well. we struck out with finding shoes, but it was fun to walk around with just james for a little bit. oh and i did find the cute headband that i'm wearing in the photos below. :]

eventually, we made our way to the game.
james' brother is usually pretty shy around me, but he really came out of his shell during the game. there was a guy in a wolf costume sitting in front of us, and he had a bag of these silver hulk-like fists... so johnny borrowed one. i have to say, it was pretty hilarious.
he decided to invade our photo too... which just looks silly. james and i left before the game was over because we wanted to avoid the mess of traffic. i had school the next day, and he had his first day of work... so we wanted to get home. i tried several times to get a good photo of us on the bridge with the park in the background... but it was too cold to stand there for too long. ha.
it would have been a cute photo if the background worked out like the one below... right?

anyway. i was tempted to not go to the game, but i'm glad i did. it was pretty exciting to see the majority of the stadium filled with blue. and it was even more exciting that we won the game! even if we didn't get to celebrate with everyone else who stayed in the city.

scraps + a little more.

thanks to the little bit of blogging i managed in the past few months, i realized well after finishing this first layout that the fox's name was bart. ha! i was so sure that his name was doug... ah well. i don't think i will fix it... probably just make a note on the back. i'm going to blame the fact that i've been sick for way too long now. it started right after thanksgiving and never really got better. i finally went to the student health center during block exams because my lungs were hurting with each breath, and i was diagnosed with bronchitis, given a breathing treatment, antibiotics, and an inhaler. i never got better though. during the triple jump exam [which is a three part closed book written/open book written/osce exam] i was ridiculously sick. covered in sweat, but shivering because i felt so cold. finally, when i got home i found out that i had pneumonia. so more antibiotics... and i'm still not really over it.

anyway. all that just to say that my brain was probably not fully functioning when i decided to make this layout. :]

it also started as a completely different vision... with the backsides of the two papers that make up the background as you see it now. i ripped it all apart and ruined the papers, then realized that the backsides fit together pretty nicely like this. almost everything is from the studio calico december kit called cosmopolitan.

this layout is waaaay cuter in person. i was thinking about my quilt... that i did not have the motivation to work on, and i decided to make a layout to mimic it. all the patterned paper squares are sewn onto the background paper. it was made using the busy sidewalks add-on kit. i love that snowman paper and really wish i would have bought another piece or two when it was still available in stores. not only are the snowmen cute, but the backside is delightful. it's a black snowflake pattern, and i'm pretty much in love with it.
i printed a few of my favorite photos of victoria opening her presents on christmas. i was really happy that they were able to come home this year. last year, they stayed in vegas... so it was a treat to see them even though it was only for a brief time. victoria is talking so much now and her little voice pretty much melts my heart. one of my favorite things is when she asks for something like crackers, if you ask her how many she wants, she holds up the number two on her fingers and says, "too many!" :] it had definitely been too long since i'd last seen her.
my parents gave here an american girl bitty baby because she loves dolls. but when she opened up the box with the baby blanket, she was sure it was meant for her. it was pretty funny. i actually made her a blanket this year, so i encouraged her to open that present next, at which point she became more willing use the doll blanket for the doll. :]

this layout was for a challenge to scrapbook about your goals/resolutions/whatever for 2011. i took the opportunity to do a ton of journaling and reflected on 2010 and what i want to keep the same or change in 2011. it's definitely a simple layout, but i think it works because of all the journaling.
i took the photo because i needed a recent photo of myself... so i just opened photobooth and then printed it without fussing over getting my hair looking right, or the lighting or anything. it was kind of fun to let go and not try to get a perfect photo. i think being sick probably helped me not care so much if i didn't look top notch. ha!

that's all for now, but i have a couple other finished layouts that i've been meaning to post. [considering i didn't blog one time in december... it's not too shocking that i haven't gotten around to them, right?]

this first week back at school has been interesting. i'm actually keeping up with my lectures as they come instead of saving them for the weekend... or right before exams. i didn't do as well as i had originally hoped in my first semester, but i'm going to approach this semester as a new chance. i finally figured out my best studying methods really late last semester, so just knowing how i want to set up my notes, etc. is a big help this time around. but aside from the school work, my classmates keep asking me if i am ok. i guess i don't seem like my usual self. i'm sure part of the reason is just being sick. plus, i'm still having some pain in my ribs... i separated the cartilage, which is just really uncomfortable. but also... i really had a hard time with the idea of coming back here. i still have moments where i wonder if this was the right decision. also i kind of wanted to switch my seat to sit closer and move away from people who just watch movies or play games online during lecture so that i can be more focused. but it's turning into a bit of an ordeal because some people are very territorial about their seats. ha! it's pretty silly actually, but i'm still trying to settle in i guess.

in other news... james got a new car. :] he's been wanting one for a while. and since he starts a new job that he needs to commute to, i think he decided it was a good time. but he ended up getting it from las vegas because they had the car he wanted at the best price. so after driving me back to the bay, he drove back to reno so his old car would be there, then flew to vegas to get the car and had to drive all the way back to the bay. it was a lot of alone time for him... but he's really excited about his wrx.

he's also on the waiting list for pharmacy school here. he found out right before christmas. it's obviously not what we had hoped for, but now we are just really keeping our fingers crossed that he will get good news over the summer. his new job is at novartis [a pharmaceutical company], so being able to add that to his resume should help a bit.

well. it's past my bedtime, and this post is way longer than i anticipated! goodnight. :]

and just like that...

exams were finished, and i headed home to nevada.

christmas came and went.

time was spent with my family.

and just like that...

it's another a new year.

i am happy + sad to say goodbye to 2010. it brought a lot of change for me. a new adventure in a new town. a new home. a new school. new surroundings and new friends. new independence. and new dependence at the same time.

but it was also the year i said goodbye to my grandpa for the last time. and even in this new year with promises of a fresh start, i still find myself sad. grieving. heartbroken. desperate to hold on to my memories.

which also makes me sad that i didn't do a better job of taking photos and blogging in 2010. i have a terrible memory, and i rely on this blog so much to remember the past.

so it's a new year. with new opportunities for all kinds of new stories. and hopefully i will keep up with documenting them.

home + a little catching up.

james and i made it home at the beginning of the month after my block B exams, but the weekend went by way to fast. we barely had time to see anyone or do much of anything. we are home again now for thanksgiving, and i am really glad. :] he spent the day with his brother and parents in carson, while i am here in reno with my parents. it's been a super relaxing day to say the least!

as far as other updates go, school is moving right along. in another month i will be 1/8th of a pharmacist. haha. last friday, i had a rotation in a community pharmacy, and i really enjoyed it. i actually felt like a pharmacist for the first time, and i didn't mind the way it felt. i still have doubts about whether or not pharmacy school was the right choice, so that was a good feeling. plus, i just have to remind myself that there are a lot of options i will be able to pursue when i am done. my grades are not perfect, but i am trying to take part in other opportunities as they come along. i started volunteering in my school's student run health clinic, which has also been a good experience. it's still in the beginning stages, so there are growing pains that come along with that. but i think it will eventually be a pretty good resource for people in my area.

what else... we had some friends visit a few weekends ago, and i took a letterpress class in san francisco. it was really fun learning how to letterpress. it's so much work. i'm not sure i would ever really want to do it seriously, but i could see doing some smaller projects in the future if time ever permits.
also during that weekend, we went to our first NFL football game. it was crazy. the stadium is just so much louder than you can really imagine. my ears were literally hurting to the point where i had cover them. ha. we didn't really have a strong preference for either team, but it was still exciting to see the 49ers win in overtime. [on a side note, i think that since james has moved to the bay with me, i have watched more sports than in all the years of my life before this. ha.]

also back in october, there was a big pharmacy conference in san francisco that i decided to attend. i got to be part of the quiz bowl team for my school, and we won first place for the second year in a row! we beat more recognized schools like UCSF and UCSD, which is pretty exciting for my school. we also came in first place in the clinical skills competition and tied for first place in the poster presentation. i still get a lot of blank looks when i tell people the name of my school, so when things like this happen, it's really great for my school... and in a way for me too. :] here's a touro group shot with the clinical skills competition winners:
that's about all i have for now... the weather here is freezing, so i think i'm going to snuggle up in my covers and watch a few episodes of friends. i actually have a couple of layouts that i made earlier this month to share, but i need to find the time to take photos of them. i've also been trying to update my tumblr account every so often... so you can always check in there if you are bored. it's really just a bunch of randomness that i share there, but it's kind of fun.

ok. i hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving!

grandpa.

i'm way behind on blogging and my camera battery has been uncharged for about a month now... so i don't really think i will be able to catch up. but i want to write about my grandpa james hendry griffith.

he passed away after a seven year battle with cancer on thursday, november 18th. i knew it was coming, but i still wasn't ready. i'd heard reports from both sides of the spectrum. my dad was forever optimistic about his dad making a recovery from his last blood infusion and being able to regain function in his legs and return home, while my sister was more convinced that it was time.

as i mentioned, he lost the function of his legs, and since he was unable to move about much, he decided it was time for hospice. but there were reports that it was only temporary and he would be back home. unfortunately, he didn't recover, but only got weaker. he was in a considerable amount of pain, which they tried to control with morphine. unfortunately, that meant that he was basically put into a coma. my sister and grandma were both there with him when he took his last breath, and my dad was on his way.

i will always remember his quite cheerfulness. he was soft spoken, but long winded. he was forever looking to give compliments. on a day when i was feeling subpar, he would [without knowing my own feelings] comment on my outfit or my hair or something to make me smile. i never heard him say anything mean or negative about anyone or anything. ever. he was a hard worker and certainly old fashioned. although my grandma started using a computer and the internet many years ago, he preferred the library and traditional letter writing. he was a geologist for mobile oil, but he liked to do research of all kinds and was very interested in our family history. he even made a few trips to ireland to do some genealogy research. when he got back, he told me a story about hitch hiking in the countryside and getting a ride from a family who invited him for dinner. when they were finished, he noted that they didn't wash the soap off the dishes, they just let them dry. haha. he had lots of funny little stories like that to tell. that also wasn't the only time he had hitch hiked that i know about, which often made my grandma worry. but i don't think he saw the danger in it. he and my grandma used to come take care of my brother, sister, and me when we were little so that my parents could go on vacation. my sister and i used to put on these silly little dance performances to entertain them, and he would always oblige us by watching. he used to quiz me on geography using a big atlas that my dad has, and he would always comment on how smart i was. he was always sure to let me know that he was proud of my school work and my accomplishments. he was a handyman. he was independent, but so in love with my grandma. he loved to garden. we used to visit them for the summers sometimes, and he always had an impressive vegetable garden with carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, etc. as he and my grandma got older, the gardening got reduced, but even during my last visit to see them, he was still going out everyday to check on his string beans and pick any that were ready to be harvested. he liked to be active and even talked my grandma into doing a 100 mile bike ride with him. during those childhood summer visits, i remember going on lots of bike rides with him and to a nearby park to play. there was also a gymnasium [as he would call it] in denver that he took my sister and i to one time. i am pretty sure that he did gymnastics throughout school. he taught me how to play corquet in their backyard. he liked to try to plan at least one education activity whenever he knew i was visiting... sometimes to the aquarium or the museum of nature and science. he wasn't big on tv or movies, except for the occasional action movie as far as i know. i remember that he used to play "day o" by harry belafonte, and sooner or later my sister and i would request to hear it every time we visited.

gosh. i can't believe he is gone. i can't help but think about the things that he will miss that i wanted to share with him. but at the same time i am so thankful that i had the chance to know him and make memories with him. he will be forever loved and missed.