oh amy.

i've been rather mad at myself for the past few days.
in my true procrastinator/afraid to fail style, i didn't register for the gre.

i wanted to be absolutely sure that i was totally ready for it, in order to ensure a high score.
well.
i went to register for it the other day and all the spaces were full within the time period that i need to take it in order to apply to the school where i want to apply. ahh.
i had been keeping my eye on the schedule, so it didn't seem like it would be a problem to wait.
well.
it was.

it's not too late to take it for some of the other schools i was thinking about applying to, but i'm not sure now.
i really want to apply to a certain school, or i feel like i'll always wonder if i was good enough to get in there.

so. i have to decide if i should wait and apply next year, or go ahead and apply this year and forget about the school where i really wanted to go.

ugh.
i'm totally kicking myself.
big time.

i guess i need to join deepa in figuring out a back up plan.
it wouldn't hurt to be a lab tech for a year or so. more experience in that environment never hurts, and there is always more to learn. i just know that i need to be in that setting and away from the setting of my current job.

anyway. i'm leaving tomorrow.
it will be so nice to see family and get away. hopefully it will help me clear my head and figure out what i'm doing.
the only sad part is being away from james on our two year mark. sigh.
i better get back to my laundry now.