oh oh i am a scientist.

there is a song by the dandy warhols... i believe it's called "i am a scientist." it so funny and so me. anyway, i saw this on another blog, and i just had to do it. it was pretty fun and i love the concept. :] and it just makes me think of the dandy warhols song.

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also. that page i posted last night... there is a little tip that i used on there. are you running out of your favorite letters? cut out the negative space, or i suppose you could call it the template, and use that. i did it for two of the letters that i was out of. i think it looks perfectly fine and adds a little something different to the page. plus you can get a little more for you money. :]

what else. i did really well on my last cell bio test. [i guess that makes up for doing badly on molecular biology. maybe?] so as long as i do well on my paper and the final, i'll get an A in there. that's making me happy because i thought i was going to get a B. on the other hand, i was hoping to pull out an A in molecular, but i'll most likely get an A- or a B+ [i hate when professors use +/- grading.] so it's a trade off, i guess.

so yeah. this weekend is all about papers. i have my molecular paper due monday and my cell paper due thursday. i'm going to try to start tonight, but my head hurts super bad, and i've just been feeling crappy all day. in fact, i took a 4 hour nap today. eeek. didn't help much though. :[

oh and when i got home from class today, my camera was here! i am so excited about it. i just need to find a good bag for it now. we have a really cool old nikon bag, but it's for the film cameras. they fit well together in there. so i'm going to look for a new one for my new baby.

tomorrow i might go to virginia city. it would be a good place to take photos, and i have a ton of film to still shoot. so it's an option. i need to make sure i get my papers done though.

i hope everyone is having a happy friday. enjoy the weekend! :]

:[

honey don't you weep.

i watched this video a few times last night. helped me feel a little better for whatever reason [maybe just because i think he's a genius, and the fact that he writes on glass backwards so that the viewer can read it is amazing. ha.]


this is from his newest album. i love this song. :] he played it at the last show i went to, which was a few days before the new album came out. i was in awe. the violinist is actually from san francisco, and he was totally amazing live.


also, i got a little dose of retail therapy today. my dad bought me the D80. it will be here on friday, so i am a happy girl.

and. one of my favorite bands, minus the bear, is playing here on sunday night. i have a paper due monday morning, so this will give me some motivation to get it done early. [i hope.]

so yeah, i'm feeling better. not better about anything to do with the previous post, but just in a happier mood and not thinking about that stuff for now.

i hope everyone has a good day.
:] [:

ETA: i also just bought this kit: http://www.lisabearnson.com/kotm/
if you hurry hurry you can still get one.
i wasn't going to buy one, but i just made the impulse decision to go for it.

let go.

maybe this will be my first "real" blog post.

every once in a while, i have to remind myself to let go, refocus, and move forward.

but can you ever really forget someone?

can you ever completely let go?

i don't know. i just know it's really hard, if it's even possible at all. i am so happy in my current relationship. people who see me now always comment on how happy i appear to be. and i am really happy. i feel like my relationship is fabulous.

but sometimes i can't help but look back. sometimes i can't get him out of my mind, and in a way i can't get him out of my heart. people tell me... "he will always be in your heart, and that's ok." but i let it haunt me. the bottom line is, i am crying right now, and i know why in a general sense, but i don't really know why. i don't know why i am feeling so hurt or sad or whatever right now. i am happy where i am, so why the tears?

[for the record, i'm definitely not talking about dave.]

i wish it was possible to completely let go. but for me it's just not. [i know so many people who have totally been able to let go, and that makes it all the more frustrating.]

i guess in a way, i want him to be happy too, and i know he's just not. and maybe what's worse is that i want to help him be happy and he won't let me help in any form i can offer right now. he won't let anyone help him. it's so frustrating. i hate seeing him be so angry and knowing that he attributes a lot of his anger to me. i guess in a way, i wish i could go back and do it over and make it better. i just have no idea how it could have been done differently.

i don't even know what to say really. i'm just very confused right now. i thought it would help to write, but i don't even know what to say. ugh.

so.

things went well for me in the darkroom tonight. i have a test tomorrow, but i really don't want to study. i have this sense of accomplishment right now, and it's not making me feel the need to sit down and learn some cell bio. grrr.

heroes was new tonight, but i missed it. i recorded it, so i really just want to go watch it. eeek. [and the gpa continues its exponential decay.]

and i bought a canon digital rebel xti, but i think i am going to return it and get a nikon d80. my film cameras are nikons, so i think i should stick with it. i have a couple really good lenses that will most likely work on a new digital, just no autofocus, which is no big deal to me.

oh. i registered for my classes today. i just decided tonight that i want to register for one more, but the website was already "closed". i find it so strange that a website can close. tomorrow is when the seniors start registering, so it would have been better to register for it today, but hopefully if i register in the morning, it will be ok. it's another photography class, and i know it's going to fill up super fast. i get to register the day before registration officially starts because i am in the honors program. it's been a helpful perk. so right now my classes for summer are: edu 202 [intro to secondary ed], tennis, art 245 [digital media], and some independent study biochem credits during which i will work on my thesis. and for next semester they are: bch 407 [thesis], bch 417 [metabolic regulation], bch 420 [proseminar], art 235 [photography ii], ansc 415 [ethics of biotech], ch 202 [required humanities class, this one has to do with "the modern world"], and edu 204 [education technology or something like that.] so i'm probably going to have to drop a class for fall semester. that seems like a lot, and i know i will need to have a good amount of time to work on my thesis. i'm just not sure what i want to drop yet. and i might pick up the other photography class in the summer, in which case i would probably drop digital media. there aren't any classes during summer that i can take towards my major aside from just getting credit to work on my thesis, so it's kind of a time to take other fun classes. :]

yeah. so that's all really. i just wanted to waste some time by blogging. i hope you all have a happy week.

dos mas.

here are two more that i just finished tonight. :]

this one is a lift from heidi swapp's new idea book.
















this one is for fun. i used lots of my favorite night time photos from san francisco.

:] [:

these pages make me happy.

this one is my take on the latest scrapjack. i love those new heidi swapp ghost butterflies... those were the last touch to go onto this page. [the photo is me when i was a little one holding a jar with a newly "hatched" butterfly in it. it's totally out of focus, but i just love it.]

this one is for a fiskateer challenge. it was to do a journaling style that you have never done. well, i have never journaled on an 8x10 photo before. ha. i've actually only scrapped one other 8x10, and i cut it into pieces... so i guess this is the first real 8x10 photo i've scrapped. i've doodled one other time on a photo, but i've never written my journaling on a photo before. this page was SO fun. i want to make a million more just like it. :] maybe i will make a whole album with 8x10 photos. that could be fun.

well.

they arrested that guy last night. so i guess that's good. it still feels pretty weird though.

i've had a headache all day that i can't get rid of. it's not fun at all. i took a shower thinking that would help, but it made it worse.

i calculated my grade in molecular bio and i would need 100% on the last test to get an A. so it looks like it will be an A- or a B+ for me. sad sad sad about that.

i finished my scrapjack page. so that's one fun thing. well i almost finished it the day it was posted, but i was waiting to see if it needed something else. i figured out what to add, and i think it's done now. so i'll have to scan it later on.

mmm. i don't know what else i can say. i wish i was in vegas so i could have some gelato right now. i think i'm going to settle for some TCBY or maybe cold stone. hopefully that will help my headache. then i think i might just go to barnes and noble and look at photography books, scrapbook magazines, and grad school books. for some reason, i've started thinking about grad school. it's not on the top of my list, but it's getting higher. i'm going to see how next year goes with my thesis. i think that will really help me see if research is what i want to do. otherwise. who knows.

i want to go to the city tomorrow. i really need to take tons and tons more photos for my class. i'm stressing about it. so maybe i'll try to go tomorrow.

anyway. i hope everyone has a good weekend. :]