snow.

last night we had our first snow. i guess it snowed downtown a little bit, but we actually got quite a bit up by my house. when i was driving home, all the mountains up here were white. :]
it's all gone now, but still, it was exciting.

[eta: when i went out today, there was actually still some snow hanging on up there. i just couldn't see it from my window. so even more exciting.]

last night i helped james move into his new place. it's pretty nice, and bigger than his old place. i think he's really going to like it. i guess i should make a little correction though... i *tired* to help him move. ha. i was fine with all the little stuff, but when it came to the boxes... the boys made them so heavy! i was trying to make it in with one, and luckily his roommate walked out as i was half way to the door. i was like "can you take this!" he just started laughing so hard. so yeah.

i'm just a little bit sad for helix because now he doesn't have the little yard to run around freely in, and he doesn't have blue, the dog upstairs, to play with. james says it will be fine and we can take him to the dog park more and go for more walks with him. and i know it will be fine, i'm just a little sad for the little he-man. i'm thinking about bringing him over here and having a test run in my back yard. we have a fence, but i'm worried that there are some spots that he could escape through. that would be really bad because he's not familiar with the area up here and we have a lot of coyotes and stuff.

today is the unr v. unlv game. i opted out of going. it's just so intense with the rivalry, and to be honest... i just don't enjoy football all that much. ha. i do hope unr wins though. :]

oh and this weekend is all the scrap pink events thoughout the nation. our store is participating, so i'm thinking about going to the crop tonight. i never really scrapbook outside of the house for several reasons, but i do have a little project that i'm working on... so if i just take that and what i think i'll need to finish it, maybe it will be productive.

ok. james just called me to pick him up from the game. he said it's too packed there and not really fun. haha. i kind of thought so. and i want to buy i pink shirt to wear tonight. i know. i know. i probably have some, but i can't find one that i would want to wear. my closet is so unorganized right now. so i guess i better get going. i hope everyone is having a fabulous saturday. :]

just what i needed.

i've been a little bit off lately.
i think i know what made it happen, but i can't get rid of this funny way that i'm feeling.
overly anxious.
overly worrisome.
and just kind of scattered.

and all because someone pointed out how the biggest thing that's changed about me over the years is that i think too much now. and worry too much about things i can't control.

i don't want to be like this.
and i definitely don't like feeling this way.

so what's a girl to do?

well...

step 1: buy a ticket to see rilo kiley.
step 2: buy a plane ticket to vegas.
step 3: book a room at the bellagio.



i am so happy and excited. seriously. i'm going to save up some money for a little fabulous shopping while i'm there too. and it's the weekend after my first exam in met reg. so it will be even more needed by then.

i can hardly wait. :]

plus. i'll get to see my brother and sister-in-law. plus plus. my parents might even be there that weekend. how fun.

p.s. i have a bunch of really good photos of the bellagio fountains, but his is the only one i can find. ah well. still pretty.
[and almost as refreshing as the ocean.]

to the max.

yeah. that's how much i procrastinate.
[the funny thing is, this week i spent some time with deepa preparing our lecture for the freshmen... and it was about procrastination and just how terrible it is. nice.]

anyway. my ch paper that is due today was a real struggle. i thought i could finish it last night, but it took me so long to organize in my head and figure out how i wanted to say everything. i'm so out of practice on writing for humanities. ack. so i decided to take a nap around 3am and wake back up a 5am. now it's just past 8am and i'm already done. well. done enough anyway. so i guess that means i finished early? ha.

i think i might try to work on my lss dare. last night i decided as a punishment to myself that i wasn't going to do it because i wouldn't have time. but now maybe i do. ha. plus i think i need a little scrap time after all the anxiety from this paper.

& &

i just realized that the last scrapper standing dare is/has been posted.
it's due wednesday!?
ack.
i hope i can find some scrappy mojo and work on it before then. i have cool ideas floating in my head... but i don't have the proper materials to make it happen. so. i hope i can work it out. my parents brought me the laminator this weekend... so we'll see.

tomorrow.

because right now... still have to work on the homework. ack.
[but i really do just want to work on it now. ha. i think that's a good sign though because i haven't really wanted to scrap for a while.]

& & tuesday i'll be able begin my qrtPCR because my last set of primers should arrive. that means... a long day in the lab. ack. i'm really excited for that data. but i want to get my dare done! ha.

halloween.

it's been raining all day here.
pumpkins are appearing everywhere.
it's time to remember to wear a sweater.
i'm turning on the heat seater when i get in my car.
yeah. fall is here. and that means halloween is coming.
and that means i need to start thinking of a good cute costume. last year, i was deb from napoleon. everyone said i looked just like her on the night i went out. but my actual halloween was spent in the hospital with my dad. i want to have a good costume this year. nothing cheapy or cheesy. just a really good one.
the only idea i have so far is marge simpson. ha. i think it could be a fun one. and relatively easy to do.
but i'm still trying to think if there's anything better. i don't think james and i will do anything matching because it sounds like he and his friends are planning something together.
so. yeah. it's just something fun to think about. :]

i have a lot of homework today, and i really didn't like being at work because it felt so unproductive. i still love all the fun perks of my job though, so i'm going to just try to make it work. i had some reading with me today, but i didn't get any of it read because the store was pretty busy. ack.

oh. and something really exciting happened to me yesterday. i got picked as one of 50 people to go on a fiskateer round-up. it's an all expense paid trip to san antonio for a weekend of crafting. we will become trained on the fiskars scrapbooking products and then we just have to teach 20 people about the products in the following 5 months. i was so giddy when i got the email invitation. and i was dancing around after i registered. so if you're not a fiskateer, you should join because i think they will probably do more of these events, and it's a pretty fun little website. :]

ok. i'm off to read. and write a paper. then study for my met reg quiz. and work on my thesis presentation. then start on another paper. yikes.

oh and heroes starts tomorrow! james and i are so stinking excited.

i hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. :]

barely keeping up.

ack. i know i probably write about this a lot, but i feel like i am barely keeping up with school. i'm just a little overwhelmed right now because i'm still not back into the groove. you know what i mean?

today in the lab, my professor walked by and asked me if i was ok, and i said that i was fine and asked why? he just said that i looked a like i was overwhelmed. i said i was, but mostly just with school. he said "that's the way it should be." ha.

i guess the problem is that the things i need to do and want to do are definitely not the same right now. so it's time to find my focus once again. ack.

tomorrow, james has to go apartment hunting. he's not really happy where he's been living. for one thing, the shower above leaks into his bathroom, and the landlord doesn't seem to be interested in fixing it. so he gave his notice a while ago, but has been too busy to find a new place. now that he has to move out next weekend... it's time to get to work. i love that kind of stuff, so i'm going to try to go with him and look. :]

oh and he got a 94% on his anatomy exam this week. i am so proud of him. anatomy is notorious for being ridiculously hard at our school. but he just studied really hard and didn't give up or get overwhelmed or anxious... i need to take a lesson from him. ha.

last night i had a little visit from the past. it was good though. kind of made me appreciate where i am in my life right now. and also get some closure, but at the same time realize that maybe a friendship is possible. who knows, really. but it was good. maybe one of the best parts was that james was encouraging. i was sort of nervous, but he just told me to go for it. i love the security in our relationship. i think that's an important aspect that my past relationships have been really lacking.

anyway. i'm of to read and fall asleep. it was a long week. i'll be glad for a day off tomorrow.

follow up to eek.

well. i'm back.
but it doesn't really feel like i went anywhere. ha. i have this thing where i have to wake up in a hotel room bed to feel like i have gone anywhere. so since it was a day trip... it's kind of surreal.

anyway. the highlight was definitely the hambly. we placed an order, so it should be to the store soon. i can't wait. we even talked to allison about coming to teach a class at our store. i don't know if it will work out, but that would be so cool. :]

i also fell in love with all the new making memories stuff. some of it should be arriving at the end of this week, and i seriously can't wait. the paper dress and the little papers in that frame are just too cool. and some of them have really nice textures in person.

also, american crafts has a bunch of new thickers. i've had a hard time getting into the foam ones, and some of them are so big that i don't really like to use them... but they came out with some smaller velvet ones that i am going to *need* in every color. ha. they are so cute. there was another cute smaller set in vinyl... i think it was called daiquiri. so i can't wait for those to arrive.

we finished off the day by meeting tim holtz! how cool. he showed us some of his new chipboard products and they are so versatile. he is just full of ideas too... great person to talk to.

so yeah. i had fun. we ended up getting done early because the show was pretty small, so we just went back to the airport and luckily caught an earlier flight home. now i have all this core humanities reading to do and all i want is some sleep. go figure.

eek.

ok. well i'm about to leave for the airport.
still having anxiety, but mostly just for the flight now.

i managed to get everything done yesterday. i even finished reading the two chapters for education and was done with the quizzes by 7pm. [and i got 100% on both. woo whoo.] i was sort of thinking i would just have to take them without reading, but my ethics class got out early, so i had some extra time before going to my work to pick up my plane ticket.

everything always works out, right?
but i still *always* get really bad anxiety when i have too much going on, or something big going on.
and let me just say, it's really not fun living with seemingly perpetual anxiety.
yesterday in my core humanities class, my professor was talking about machiavelli and his thesis. my heart started racing as soon and the word "thesis" came out of his mouth. i have my first draft due on nov. 2nd, and just before i went to that class, a bunch of the biochemers and i were talking about how we need to start writing. ack.

well anyway. a couple things i am looking forward to at memory trends:
hambly booth.
three new scenic route lines.
hambly booth.
hambly booth.

ha. the only thing is that i am wearing dumb shoes today. and i'm not changing them. i know i will come home with terribly sore feet and possibly a few blisters. but they're really cute. and the pants i'm wearing require flat, cute shoes. [even if they aren't too good for walking.] i'm mostly just writing that to myself, so that when i come home and want to complain, i can say to myself "i told you so." ha.

ok. i better leave. i always get to the airport ridiculously early, so i'm trying not to be as early today... but the anxious side of me won't let me delay any longer. :]

:/

i need to see this.

and just get away for a bit.

a.s.a.p.


i can't sleep tonight.
i think i'm just too anxious about tomorrow. i have a quiz in met reg, a quiz in core humanities, and since i'll be gone on tuesday, i have to take my two quizzes for my education class tomorrow as well. none of them are particularly hard, but i'm just not prepared for them. i tried studying for met reg and nothing would stick. i just couldn't make sense of my notes. i tried reading for my education quizzes, but the chapters are just so far from interesting. and there is really no way to prepare for core humanities. so all this leaves me with anxiety, which is leaving me unable to sleep.
so frustrating.

plus, james has a big anatomy lab quiz on tuesday, a mircobiology exam on tuesday, and an anatomy exam on thursday. so i am feeling anxiety for him too. he doesn't really get stressed out like i do over school stuff. he just works as hard as he can and leaves it at that. i wish i could be more like that. but instead... i just double my anxiety by worrying about him too. grr.

so i'm trying to get excited about my trip to memory trends, but i feel like i have so much to get through before i leave that it's just hard to be excited right now. :/ as much as i love that i'm getting to go... all this stress almost isn't worth it. i guess i'll see how it turns out though. hopefully it'll be a cool experience.

now if i can just find some way to make my heart stop racing so i can fall asleep.

jet-setter.

that's what my dad said when i told him my latest news.
i'm flying to vegas just for the day on tuesday with my boss to go to memory trends.
ha. oh man.
i'm really excited to go, and she is excited for me to go, which makes me even more excited.
at the same time, i'm really stressing about it because it's smack in the middle of my school week, but i won't miss any classes for it, only a day i should be spending in the lab.
so yeah. we'll see how it goes.

i gave my presentation on monday. it went really well. someone even commented that it was perfect. i am so relieved.
but something kind of shocking happened too. my friend maria works in dr. blomquist's lab... he is our main collaborator, so our presentations were very similar since they both dealt with bark beetles. and she happened to present right after me. well. my professor has been giving commentary after each presentation since we are the first ones... just to kind of help people get an idea of what to do/not to do. so she stands up after maria's presentation and says, "so which one did you like better?" [!!!] you should have seen my face. my mouth seriously dropped open. of course, most of us are friends in there, so none of them wanted to say anything. someone finally summed it up as this... "if you are a student, you will like maria's better. if you are a politician or a grandparent, you will like amy's better." maria included a bit of humor in her presentation... saying that we are trying to find the "anti-sexy solution" to prevent bark beetles from working together. mine was more serious, and i really focused on the problems and damage that bark beetles are causing. it was just so shocking at the time.

so anyway. that's about all the news i have for now. :]

408.3 miles.

well.
i'm back.
i almost can't believe i made it.
i only got like 4 hours of sleep, but it worked out.
i ended up getting a really bad head ache while i was there... but i think it was more from not eating than from a lack of sleep. usually i do ok with minimal sleep.

& & yeah. that's how many miles i drove today.
[except that doesn't count my morning trip to best buy. yes. once i replaced "pink magenta" and yellow, the printer decided that magenta was also out. but best buy was closed... so i had to wait until this morning to go get a magenta cartridge in order to print my photos. good times. you can bet that i just went ahead and bought all the other remaining colors while i was there this morning.]

so the stats are:
408.3 total miles
6 hours total travel time.
5 hours 20 mintues total driving time.
2 stops. [1 for gas. 1 for food and stretching and to keep my sanity.]

i'm so glad that i went. it was really a lot of fun. and kristina was so nice and fun to talk to.
oh and she had the new dare book there. [!!!] i *need* that book. seriously. it is just packed with amazing-ness.
the only real problems were the whole printer thing this morning, not having anything to eat except carrots and vitamin water in the car because i was running late because of the printer thing, almost running out of gas on i-5... i had 10 miles until empty, and the bean festival was going on in downtown tracy, so all the streets were blocked off, so i had to park in a random neighborhood and walk to the store... so i was 5 minutes late. [don't ask me what the bean festival is... i couldn't really figure that part out. all i really caught was some terrible hip-hop-ish live music and a pretty good strawberry, banana, peach smoothie. yes. all three flavors were layered into one cup. not too sure about that either, but it was my dinner, so at least it was good.]

oh. and i decided to use a harajuku bag that i bought a while back to carry all my scrappie stuff. my big coach bag had too much stuff in it that i didn't feel like cleaning out. ha. the harajuku bag worked pretty well.


and i made a few purchases at the store. they had a pretty good selection of fontwerks stamps. i was really tempted to buy just about all of them, but i made myself choose one. they didn't have the starfiin alphabet stamps though. :/ they also had some hambly. even though our store should be getting it like this week, i couldn't help myself... i had to buy some. and also some other elsie stuff that was on sale.

so. here are the two little albums we made. you can pretty much tell that the 6x6 american crafts album is still blank. my head was hurting too bad to keep working on it, and i was getting kind of anxious to leave. now that i'm home though... i really want to finish it. so i'm off to work on it some more. :]

i hope everyone is having a good weekend! :]

not ready.

i had planned to take this afternoon, after school, after some lab work, to get ready for my little trip tomorrow.
well it didn't quite work out.
ack.
i got home to find the power was off. so. i couldn't do the planned laundry for the planned outfit. i decided to go to macy's. no luck. none at all. but i sure did spend a lot of time trying. then. i realized i hadn't printed my photos yet. i had planned on getting them printed somewhere instead of printing them myself, but by the time i remembered, it was too late. so i went home to try to get started... and the photo printer is out of yellow and "pink magenta" ink. there are like 9 different ink cartridges in this printer... it's insane to me that some of those other colors couldn't compensate. i mean really... magenta can't cover for "pink magenta" in a pinch? [apparently not.] so luckily, i realized this in time to get to best buy and get some ink. by then it was past 8:00, and i was hungry. so james and i went to eat. i was so tired at dinner. then we went to check on helix, and i sat down on his bed while he was fixing his contact lense or something and i fell asleep! that was not in the plan. he decided not to wake me up either. so 2 hours later, i finally woke up and realized what happened. now i am home. i still need to do laundry. i still need to fix the printer. i still need to choose, then print my photos. and i still need to pack up all my supplies into a non-existant scrapbook tote. yeah. non-existant. i never scrapbook outside of my house, so i've never purchased one of those crazy scrapbook totes. perhaps my big signature brown coach purses will suffice.
ok. i better get started.
did i mention i am still ridiculously tired?
but so excited. so i'll have to focus on the excitement to get me through the night. :]

[and this one because it's amazing. you have to listen to the lyrics... loads of science mixed in. how could i not love it!? plus, since i started working in my lab... i've become more fascinated, and less creeped out by bugs. ha.]

review.

i just looked through my blog history and i cannot believe i've never posted this video. so i'll start with that. [you probably recognize the song from the post secret video... did i post that one? hmm.]


and then... maybe a little review of my classes in case you were wondering. so once you watch that video, you can play it again and read while you listen. ha.

edu 204 = technology in teaching = easiest class ever. it's all online, but you have to go into the education computer lab once a week to take a quiz on that week's chapter. then there are weekly modules due. like on using various functions in word, excel, powerpoint, and some other programs. some of them take a long time to do, but my teacher gives really good instructions. i've actually learned a few tricks so far, and i think i'll learn some other helpful/cool things too. plus, the neat thing is that the whole class is already available, so i could technically finish it this weekend, aside from the quizzes, which i would have to take in the lab. i don't have enough time to get the whole thing done in a weekend, but i plan on finishing up the modules as soon as i can just to get it out of the way.

bch 417 = metabolic regulation = ack. my teacher has been teaching this for a really long time. he really knows his stuff. but that doesn't make this class any easier. it's going to be the main cause of my stress this semester. definitely the hardest class i've taken.

bch 407 = thesis = going well. i just got another new project. dr. tittiger says that if it works out like we think it will, i could get published. how cool would that be!?

bch 420 = proseminar = anxiety. i was supposed to give my presentation on wednesday, but dr. condit decided to talk about deepa's presentation for too long, so we ran out of time. i was so mad! now i have to go through all the anxiety all over again. but i do know now that my presentation is pretty much exactly what it needs to be based off dr. condit's comments on the presentations before mine. now i just have to deliver. ha.

ch 202 = core humanities = last dreaded ch course. my teacher is insane. he talks like a poet and uses really uncommon words in every sentence. we just got our first papers back, but before he handed them out... he wrote the grade distribution on the board. yikes. there are 27 of us and he only gave 2 A's. he went off about how he graded them based on how he thinks a college honors student should write. and then he basically said that if we got a C, we should probably drop the class. ack. i was so nervous. and all the papers were getting passed back... mine still wasn't getting called. for some reason i have this idea that professors put their papers in order by grades, so i was starting to freak out. my friend, also named amy, wasn't getting her's either. so after all this stress she got hers and mine was next, so we looked, and both got A's. woo who. i guess i'm staying in the class. ha. it's just a lot of work, and for a subject that i am not at all interested in. i don't like philosophy at all. grr.

ansc 415 = ethics of biotechnology = interesting. yeah. i wasn't too excited about this class, but i actually think it could turn out ok. i was really afraid that there would be a lot of debating and whatnot, and since i'm taking it with all my friends... i just wasn't too keen on that idea. but i *think* it's going to be more like presentations of topics, then personal reflections about how we feel about things. not too sure just yet, but we'll see. either way, it's not going to be as bad as i thought. so yay.

and then there's mentoring. my students seem a lot more open to discussion this year. last year, my class had no personality. they didn't want to interact, and it made things kind of tough. but this year... it seems like they will be more interactive. so it should be pretty good. plus, since it's my second time teaching the course, i'm much less nervous. :]

otherwise. my work asked me to go to the memory trends show in vegas with them. silvia is just going to go for the 18th, and i only have a meeting on tuesdays, no class, so i'll have to see. i think it could be cool to go for the day and just get a little taste. plus, hambly will be there. ha. oh. and they are starting a blog, and silvia asked me to make a page about myself that she can post... everyone who works at the store will have their little layout posted that kind of introduces them. it was sort of funny though the way she was talking to me about having to scrapbook about myself. i guess she doesn't realize that that's pretty much all i scrapbook about. ha.

& & one more exciting thing. i'm going to kristina contes' classes on saturday. it was sort of a last minute decision. i wasn't going to go, but then i just decided that i couldn't pass up the opportunity. i still have to get all my photos and stuff ready. yikes. it will be a long day driving like 3 1/2 hours each way. mehh. but i'm excited. i don't really mind driving by myself as long as i have my music. plus it's sort of nice to just listen to whatever i want and not have to worry about whether or not the other person is enjoying it as well. ha.

p.s. susan... that happens to be my favorite sweater right now, and that also happens to be my favorite paper right now. ha. go figure.

ok. off to bed. :]

grand darejack.

yikes. here they are...
first, the missyjack.
second, the ashleyjack.
and last, the amber nicholejack.
[that last one... i had something totally different in mind for it, but it just wasn't working out. ah well.]

now, i'm afraid i really need to put scrapbooking on hold for school again. i think that time arrives earlier and earlier with each semester. but seriously. i'm already feeling behind with my school stuff. ok. not behind i guess. just not quite keeping up. i did manage to get a little bit ahead in one of my classes today, but only because i was procrastinating my core humanities reading. bleck.

tomorrow morning i have to give my presentation on my thesis for proseminar. this one is the short one thankfully. but i'm presenting on the first day of presentations... so i have no example to follow. at first, i thought that was a good thing. but now... i'm kind of wishing i could watch someone else before i have to do mine. ah well.

i'm off to read now. :/ running off two hours of sleep today, and really that's all i want to do. mmm. sleep. maybe i need some tea.

gold.